This is a follow-up to the last post. It comes from me and seems to be my new mantra: "I never knew I could fuck up that badly."
I'll probably never find out for sure, but what I did last night may well have made the worst mistake I've ever made so far in my life. (And whether or not that's true during my 31+ years so far, I better not do anything worse.) After reading a particular e-mail, I think I cried more this morning than I have in the past 10 years, and the last time I broke down like I did this morning was on the order of 15 to 20 years ago. (I'll have to think very hard to figure out what it was the last time. I cried a bit when my grandmother died but not that much and I certainly didn't entirely break down like I did today.)
Math is easy. Life is hard, and I'm apparently not very good at it.
So, absent a time machine (which I can't afford), I'll cross my fingers and hope things can be patched. In the meantime, I don't know what else to do besides try to put my game face on and see if I can get work done. And we'll see if I can ever forgive myself.
I will try to make future posts happier ones --- or at least angry ranty ones.
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