"Report: Cops Look for Sausage"

Well, the Italian Sausage has gone AWOL.

You know, I really hope that Randall Simon is somehow involved. That would rock! (And in case you're wondering, Simon's claim to fame is this incident.)

Update (2/28/13): Well, the missing link has now been found. This article includes the following superb line: Bartender Jen Mohney told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that two men -- one wearing a hoodie pulled over his face -- brought the $3,000, 7-foot-long Italian Sausage costume into the bar, dropped it onto a stool and told her, "You did not see anything." Seriously, that ought to be the first line of a novel!