The Onion Presents: 10 Worst Bar Mitzvahs

The Onion brings us the 10 worst Bar Mitzvahs of all time.

My favorite is number 6: Mar. 25, 1995, Stamford, CT: Aaron Wechsler fucked up the V’ahavta big time, and couldn’t pull it together for the Avot and Gevurot.

Best. Slogan. Ever.

A "sport" called Major League Dreidel has the best slogan ever: "No Gelt, No Glory!"

I approve!

Quote of the Day: Passover Seder Edition

Today's quote is awesome: "The Jews were not pussies." (My father, quoting from the bible at Passover Seder)

Jewish Haikus

Here is a website of Jewish haikus. They are hit or miss---some of them are very funny (at least if you're 'in' on the joke) and others are very stupid.

(Tip of the cap to Predrag Cvitanovic.)

Shana Tova, Maties!

This year, we are experiencing a confluence of International Talk Like a Pirate Day and Rosh Hashanah. I care more about the former, whereas my family cares far more about the latter (and many of them are not only heathens but likely haven't even heard of International Talk Like a Pirate Day). I do, however, like the idea of a holiday mashup. I want to hear a pirate blowing a shofar, damnit! Ahoy!

This year, we be experiencin' a confluence o' International Talk Like a Pirate Day and Rosh Hashanah. I care more about t' former, whereas me family cares far more about t' latter (and many o' them be not only heathens but likely haven't even heard o' International Talk Like a Pirate Day). I do, however, like t' idea o' a holiday mashup. I want t' hear a pirate blowin' a shofar, damnit! Ahoy!

Yarrrrrrrr!