What Happens When You Finish a PhD in Complex Systems

No cynicism or snark at all. :P

When you finish a PhD in complex systems, they take you to a special room and tell you that people are not actually particles.

After you recover, you’re sworn to secrecy, and you can try to publish papers in Nature again. Either that, or you can now join a sociology department. https://t.co/jXAzDuoJ7o

— Mason Porter (@masonporter) September 22, 2019

(By the way, I have been enjoying various instances of this meme that I have encountered during the last couple of days.)

Emoji Expression

I think that I was pretty clever with this one. :)

I hope that some of you will be able to figure out the song.

Using emoji:

Relationship status: 👤
Kids: 🙄
Pets: ❌
Favorite color: 🍇
Favorite foods: ☕️🍦🍒
Favorite animal: 🦖🦕
Favorite season: ⚾️
Favorite holiday: 🎲🎮♟
Favorite song:😍🤫
Favorite books:🐉🐲⚔️🗡😈👻👹👾
Favorite sports: ⚾️🏓🎱
Occupation: 👨🏻‍🔬👨🏻‍🏫♾
Most used emoji: 😱 https://t.co/dyTkTjzK2e

— Mason Porter (@masonporter) August 26, 2019

Snarky Mathematics Venn Diagram: Version 1.01

This is my Version 1.01.

I'm sure that it can be improved.

(I was, of course, inspired partly by this Venn diagram.)

Update: One of my friends caught a grammatical error, so I fixed it for Version 1.01. That is the only difference between Versions 1.0 and 1.01.

Update (3/12/19): Franklin Kenter pointed out correctly to me that a four-set Venn diagram requires three dimensions, so let's say that what I drew is a "Venn-like" diagram, given that I am missing some of the intersections. (My positioning of the different sets was one that gave me the intersections that I wanted.)

"On Brand" Story from Childhood

A Topps baseball card had a batting average that was inconsistent with a player's hit and at-bat totals, so I typed (with a typewriter) and snail-mailed a letter to Topps to inform them that their calculation, their data, or both were wrong. I also asked them what the error was. https://t.co/u3KPrC5YSq

— Mason Porter (@masonporter) February 23, 2019

(They answered me. Apparently, the batting average was correct, but the data were entered incorrectly.)

A Cartoon Depiction of Deep Learning Versus Traditional Machine Learning

So true. :)

great meme pic.twitter.com/d5AW6WliTy

— Lex Flagel (@flagelbagel) July 29, 2018

(Tip of the cap to Michael Stumpf.)

Hiding and Sneaking in Bushes and in Barrels

It seems that Sean Spicer is trying to take a page out of the book of some video games, as he literally hid amongst bushes and behind a tall hedge to try to avoid reporters. Naturally, the internet has has a field day with this.

Here is a choice quote from the Washington Post article above: "White House press secretary Sean Spicer wrapped up his brief interview with Fox Business from the White House grounds late Tuesday night and then disappeared into the shadows, huddling with his staff near a clump of bushes and then behind a tall hedge. To get back to his office, Spicer would have to pass a swarm of reporters wanting to know why President Trump suddenly decided to fire the FBI director."

Her clearly did not play enough Zelda games as a child. Here is how to properly sneak past people while hiding in a barrel.

We continue to live in a Coen Brothers movie. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion (from a seat on the train, unfortunately).

Update: I just noticed the following tweet.

Spicer on phone to WaPo: 😡

"I was not IN the bushes!

I was AMONG the bushes!"

Editor: 🙄

Social media manager: 😎 pic.twitter.com/o8TJUsEPRy

— Prof Dynarski (@dynarski) May 11, 2017

Update (5/11/17): And then there's this beauty.

found this photo of sean spicer hiding between the bushes pic.twitter.com/YZOMCOvHZC

— David Mack (@davidmackau) May 10, 2017

Update (5/12/17): This Garden Spicer is pretty damn funny. (Tip of the cap to Maria Satterwhite, though I believe she shared a different article about the same item.)

We Studied Network Structure, and Then the Murders Began

This article on The Daily Dot suggests adding the phrase "and then the murders began" to the first sentence of the book that one is reading. This can change the tone of the book in very amusing ways.

As a twist on this, I decided to look at the first sentence of the preface of one of my books. This yields the following sentence: "Traditionally, much of the study of networks has focused on structural features, and then the murders began."

Unfortunately, the tense of the sentence hurts things, so I am going to change one letter ("s" to "d" in the word "has") to produce the following sentence: "Traditionally, much of the study of networks had focused on structural features, and then the murders began."

Much better! (And highly amusing.)

(Tip of the cap to Keith Fraser.)

Fake Gnus

I am spreading fake gnus.

(This had to be done.)

I also created this selection of fake gnus, though of course with images drawn from various sources online.

Meme: #firstsevenjobs

Here is my contribution to the meme #firstsevenjobs:

1. Tech Editor (newspaper editor at university newspaper)
2. Teacher's assistant in mathematics
3. Postdoc in mathematics
4. Postdoc in physics
5. Faculty member in mathematics department
6. Faculty member in a different mathematics department
7. ?

#sorry :)

(Well, I had a one-semester postdoc at MSRI as well, but that rolls into jobs (3) and (4) and occurred during a semester off of job (3). I could count that one if I need to get up to seven, but I like the idea of leaving the above open, as I already needed to stretch this out rather substantially. I also had a couple of paid undergraduate research projects in mathematics, so I suppose I could put those early in the list.)

"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time with a Chainsaw"

Sometimes, this is what happens when you go with a meme. Here is a link to the Wikipedia entry for the book I just read. At the recommendation of several people, I am now reading Ready Player One.

(Tip of the cap to Keith Fraser for the meme.)

The "Most Interesting Man in the World" Raises his Glass for the Last Time

The "Most Interesting Man in the World" has raised his glass for the last time, as the character was sent on a one-way trip to Mars in his final commercial. So ends one of the greatest ad campaigns in history. (It launched an internet meme, for example.)

(Tip of the cap to Kin Chan.)

A Few Good Highlights from #OverlyHonestMethods

I really like the meme #overlyhonestmethods, and here are a few highlights from it.

I especially like the third one: "Reagent became became unavailable in 2002 because nobody wanted to order more and risk being added to terrorists watchlists."

(Tip of the cap to Greg Fricke.)

Trending Hashtag: #fieldworkfail

The hashtag #fieldworkfail has been trending lately. (However, the ones in the IFLS article aren't particularly funny.)

Because I am a theorist, it is a bit difficult for me to figure out how to contribute to it. I could perhaps discussing my escapades in my lab classes during my Caltech undergraduacy, though I would rather find something interesting from my scientific career. I'm sure I have done something as a theorist that merits this hashtag. I'll let you know if I think of something.

(Tip of the cap to Katie Mack and Jaideep Singh for their recent Facebook discussion, which alerted me to this hashtag before the new IFLS article.)

New Meme: #distractinglysexy

The new meme #distractinglysexy is a fantastic response to Tim Hunt's stupid comments.

Ten Books

Over the past couple of days, I was seeing a meme over Facebook to name 10 books that have stuck with you for whatever reason. This meme seems more interesting to me than most, and I was tagged today, so I decided to play along.

The rules are as follows: In a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take more than a few minutes, and don’t think too hard---they don’t have to be the "right" or "great" works, just ones that have touched you. (And because it says "books" rather than "novels", I decided to include some math and physics books, because that is part of what came to mind. I also included some other possibly "nonstandard" choices, but I could try to come up with a list that is pure fiction if you want. :) )


Here are 10 books (in no particular order), but numbered for convenience:

1. Introduction to Nonlinear Dynamics and Chaos, Steven H. Strogatz

2. The Dragonlance Chronicles (original trilogy; you could possibly include Dragonlance Legends as well), Weis and Hickman

3. Dark Elf Trilogy (especially Homeland, which is the first book), R. A. Salvatore (3 books again)

4. Manual of the Planes, Jeff Grubb (1st edition AD & D sourcebook)

5. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (and its sequels), Douglas Adams

6. Shōgun, James Clavell

7. Noble House, James Clavell

8. The Scouting Report/The Scouting Notebook series of yearly baseball previews (may they rest in peace), by Stats Inc. in some years (with writers John Dewan and others)

9. Thermal Physics, 2nd ed, Kittel and Kroemer (this was my first statistical mechanics textbook, from Ph 2c at Caltech; I found it really inspiring to start from counting and to derive things like temperature)

10. Rotisserie League Baseball: The Official Rule Book and Draft Day Guide, various yearly editions, Glen Wagonner, Robert Sklar, and others.

It's a Meme: #HunterPenceSigns

The #HunterPenceSigns meme is pretty damn awesome. Sometimes it's bizarre what becomes a "thing", and this meme is officially a "thing". (Oh, and as you can see from the article to which I linked, Hunter Pence is handling the gentle trolling really well.)

Update (8/07/14): Here are some more Hunter Pence signs.

But Isn't It Just Homophily?

I have just created a Batman-Slapping-Robin meme for this one.

My computer's autocorrect keeps trying to make me write "homophile" instead of "homophily". Bloody Hell.

Without Loss of Generality...

New Rule: If you say or write "without loss of generality" when you do lose generality, then I have the right to smack you.

Oxford, Not London!

I dedicate my version of this meme to everybody who has ever asked me what it's like to live in London. :)

Update: It occurs to me that I should create one of these with a complex systems or networks theme. :)

Update (1/26/13): Here is attempt 1 at one with a complex systems theme. I think it's ok, but I also think I can do better. Attempt #2 is a slight improvement (thanks to Mariano Beguerisse Díaz for the suggestion), though I still think the whole thing can be improved greatly.

Overly Honest Methods

The Twitter hashtag #overlyhonestmethods is getting really big these days (or, it is "trending", to use Twitter terms). Here is an article about it. It's interesting how most of these seem to come from biology, though I don't know how much this is just because there are so many bloody biologists. :) You can see more doozies in this Huffington Post article.

I have to say that this is not optimal for my productivity, though I have managed to be pretty good about things thus far. :)

(Tip of the cap to I Fucking Love Science for the article above and to Kreso Josic for first letting me know about this meme. I'm not up for looking up the html codes for the accents Kreso's name at the moment, but I'm sure he'll forgive me.)