Calling London (The Volcano Song)

Calling London (The Volcano Song)

by Mason A. Porter

(University Lecturer, Mathematical Institute, University of Oxford)

[sung to the tune of "London Calling" by The Clash]


Calling London, since there's no hope to fly there
The volcano is spewing, and the ash won't come down
Calling London from the underworld
Let's have a bitch session, all you boys and girls
Calling London, we're all just stuck
All of our flights have been grounded by dust
Calling London, see we ain't got no flights
Though apparently airlines give us 'travelers' rights'


CHORUS

The ice age is coming, the ash is blowing in
Engines stop running and the air is growing thin
A nuclear error, but I have no fear
The volcano is spewing-and Iceland's too near


Calling London through the no-fly zone
Forget it, brother, an' go it alone
Calling London upon the volcano of death
I want my plane to fly-but I won't hold my breath
Calling London-though I just wanna get back
And when we were talking-you cut me no slack
Calling London, since we won't fly that high
Unless we want to say goodbye


CHORUS


Now get this
Calling London, I wasn't there, too
An' you know what I say? At least it's not swine flu!
Calling London at the top of the dial
And I hope soon I'll be traveling miles

I never felt so trapped, so trapped