The Three Alternative Branches of Government

Parabolic, Elliptic, and Hyperbolic.

Fun Fact: The "Hyperbolic Branch" of government has plenty of shocks. :)

Bonus (for devotees of complex variables): Transcendental, Logarithmic, and Principal https://t.co/wly6LdMXBn

— Mason Porter (@masonporter) December 22, 2019

Tonight is a Night for Spectral Graph Theory

I couldn't wait until Halloween to make this picture... pic.twitter.com/r9ivfghzpj

— Mason Porter (@masonporter) September 24, 2014

"Apostryphal Grammatical Constructions"

I think that "apostryphal" really ought to be a valid adjective. That seems like a great way to discuss apostrophes, especially when they annoy me or I want to change them.

Based on my quick googling, however, this appears to be apocryphal.

I also like the idea of evoking apocalypses in related comments and puns.

Example usage: "I rewrote the sentence to avoid apostryphal grammar."

Manifolds Lying in a Higher-Dimensional Space

We often view manifolds as lying in some higher-dimensional space, but shouldn't we also consider ones that are telling the truth? 🤔

"Lock the Taskbar"

Does he think it's not kosher?

The Shareef don't like it pic.twitter.com/pqWN0sDbQ3

— Joao Morais (@_JoaoMorais) September 10, 2017

(Tip of the cap to Dave Richeson.)

Fake µs

I am very amused by the title ("Fake μs: A cautionary tail of shear-thinning locomotion") of this paper.

It's too bad, though, that "µ" is the standard notation for kinematic viscosity, as the title would be even more amusing with the notation "𝜈" for dynamic viscosity. It would then be "Fake 𝜈s". In any event, I approve! (And things are open for a sequel paper about dynamic viscosity.)

Also, I like viscous puns.

I previously used a variant of this pun, as you can see below.

I am spreading fake gnus. (This had to be done.) pic.twitter.com/eUcmp3qouZ

— Mason Porter (@masonporter) February 11, 2017

Update (8/31/17): Thanks to Peter Mucha for the comments about kinematic versus dynamic viscosity. This helped me improve my comments above.

The Proper Way to Record 'A-Ha' Moments

We've spent a lot of time this week talking about A-Ha moments for students, and now I know the app that I'm going to use to record them!

(I don't normally care about gratuitous apps, but I am seriously geeking out over this one! I want to try this out.)

P.S. The video for "Take on Me" is the best music video of all time! And this is one of the best songs all time — definitely in my top 5.

WarGames: "Lunch Order"

The new xkcd makes me think of the movie WarGames (which I really ought to watch again), although I suppose it's more like the inverse of it.

Some Signs from the March for Science

Here are some really cool signs from the March for Science

I'll try to post some more links later. I have been seeing fantastic signs on the March for Science Facebook page for the past several weeks (and I saw some great signs in LA today).

(Tip of the cap to Maria Satterwhite.)

P.S. Some Thomas Dolby got played at the LA March, of course. :) This was the first song blasted as the gathering started on their march after a series of short speeches. Allusions to Thomas Dolby also showed up yesterday on signs, of course.

Update (4/23/17): Here are some more signs. (Tip of the cap to Peter Mucha.)

Update (4/23/17): Naturally, and as expected, people nerded out quite a bit yesterday (just like we people do in venues like Dragon*Con). In some ways, it was also like Coachella for scientists and friends. You can see some more signs in this Motherboard article and this Vox article. (The so-called "Laplace equation" in one of the pictures actually shows a Laplace transform.) Spock, Data, Beaker, and other scientifically-themed fictional characters were also very well represented.

Update (4/23/17): According to this Washington post article, the March for Science was unprecedented. (Tip of the cap to Karen Daniels.)

Update (4/23/17): Here are some signs from the New York march. I am partial to the Oregon Trail one, of course. (I have seen variants of it posted on the Facebook page for March for Science.)

Update (4/25/17): Here are some pictures from the LA March.

Update (4/26/17): Linda Hall Library is developing a digital archive of the March for Science. Very cool! (Tip of the cap to Laci Gerhart-Barley.)

Graph Alignment: A Major Open Problem

Graph Alignment is a major open problem in mathematics and computer science. pic.twitter.com/Q8EJDSYLge

— Mason Porter (@masonporter) April 20, 2017

Grilling a Lawmaker About his Degrees

Once again, truth is stranger than fiction. Check out this story.

After proposing party affiliation quotas for faculty, lawmaker grilled about business degree from Sizzler Steakhouse https://t.co/9ycYTISAm1

— Carl T. Bergstrom (@CT_Bergstrom) March 3, 2017

In his tweet, Carl Bergstrom links to a Boing Boing article, but the article to which it links gives a clearer explanation.

It's not quite as surreal as a National Park Service Twitter account going rogue (initially by simply tweeting basic facts about climate science), but it's still odd.

I Moved the Sheriff (But I Didn't Move the Depute)

Today I tried the game Colt Express. Gratuitous "I shot the sheriff." jokes are an integral part of this game.

This game is fun. One can induce a bit of Robot Turtles-style 'off by one' screwage of one's opponents. And other screwage.

Although we didn't get to play with it, one of the Thirsty Meeples employees told us about this sweet expansion.

Colt Express is pretty simple to learn and is fun — and appropriate players can add the right type of humor — so it has my recommendation.

Natural Logs: Licorice Edition

A few minutes ago, I encountered Natural Licorice Logs (and principal ones, no less!) at a local chain called Taylor's...

We have a couple of locations of Taylor's across the street from each other on Little Clarendon. They have different things from each other, and I walked into the south one to buy some funky chocolates, and noticed the Natural Logs near the checkout counter. I don't like black licorice, though, so I didn't buy it.

Still, Natural Logs at Taylor's! That makes a lovely math joke.

I Wonder Who's Going to Play ⊦ in the "Tetris" Movie?

Yes, that's right: in a puzzling development, there's going to be a movie based on the game "Tetris". I wonder who will be cast to play ⊦? Also, WTF?

This Random Walk is Not One of the Usual Suspects

The random walk in the paper "The Spacey Random Walk: a Stochastic Process for Higher-order Data" is not one of the usual suspects.

Water Phase Diagram: Stop, Collaborate, and Listen

Clearly, I need to use XKCD's water phase diagram the next time I am teaching statistical physics.

When my students are too loud, I'll tell them to stop, collaborate, and listen.

Also notice the really great pun at the bottom. I really love that!

Pun-Tourette's Disorder

I have a variant of Pun-Tourette's Disorder.

Groups of Fire

Johnny Cash sang about a "Ring of Fire".

Big Country sang about "Fields of Fire".

Clearly, somebody has to record a song about Groups of Fire. It would provide a sense of completion.

This is what I think about when I am dazed, and I am seeing rings and other algebraic structures show up in a talk. It also reminds me of comments I made as an undergrad about Killing fields.

Update: Also, "ring of functions" naturally makes my mind blurt "ring of fire".

New Article in Physical Review E: "Flow and Clogging of a Sheep Herd Passing Through a Bottleneck"

Yes, really.

The first person who told me about this granular sheep project, which has finally appeared in published form, is Karen Daniels, who points out that there are all sorts of wonderful (baaaaaaaad?) puns that one can make about shearing forces, sheared sheep, and so on.

Epidemics on Networks: A Pun

Here it is: "Those infection dynamics are pathological, so we can ignore them."