Well, I'm still in Pasadena until sometime on Saturday (and I will then be in LA until my flight on Sunday evening), but I'm now heading out imminently and all the I'm-about-to-leave feelings are setting in a bit more than they were before. Obviously I'm going to miss all my friends (and the city and campus), though relatively recent events also make it important that I'm starting over again.
It's still hard to leave, but I've now done this so many times before that it's partly old hat by now. So, it's hard but not as hard as it used to be. (The one that was really hard was in August 1998 because I had agonized over my Caltech versus Cornell grad school decision right until the last minute. I ultimately left because I decided that if I stayed, it would have been for the wrong reasons. That's why I knew I had to go somewhere else for grad school even though my heart was still in Pasadena.) I'll miss everybody, but I feel like I kind of know how to start over at this point (leaving aside the fact that I'm bad at meeting people) and the magic of e-mail, IM, and other convenient technologies make things like this much more palatable than they otherwise would be. Basically, I'm simultaneously wistful and excited. So it goes.
I was born in LA and grew up in Beverly Hills. But ever since I spent time at Caltech as an undergrad (I don't know exactly when during my 4 years that I realized this), my heart has been in Pasadena (especially on the Caltech campus). It was the first place where I was ever truly accepted and remains the place where I've felt the most like I belong. It was really great to be back for a couple years! After I left, I never thought I'd have the chance to come back for anything other than a visit.
Now, it's time to show those Oxonians what I'm made of.
1 day ago
2 comments:
Well, bon voyage! I can't exactly say I'll miss you in the normal sense, since I don't live out in CA either, but I will miss seeing you when I'm in Pasadena! I hope you find Oxford a very hospitable place!
I'll actually be around a bit in late December and early January, so if you're in Pasadena at all for the holidays, I'll see you then.
Oh, and my napkins came in handy for today's apartment cleaning. I'll put one in my luggage to use as a sort of house-warming when I arrive.
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