News Flash: "Former White Sox Prospect Breaks into Pittsburgh Office, Eats Pizza, Falls Asleep"

Um, OK.

According to the CEO of the company whose office the prospect broke into, "The fridge was filled with leftover pizza, and he came in and just dumped a whole bunch of stuff out, dumped pizza out, and there’s trails of pizza leading to the backroom.”

It's too bad that he's a human and not a ninja turtle.

"Husband Arrested for Attacking his Wife with a McChicken Sandwich"

Life imitates The Onion, apparently: A man was arrested for attacking his wife with a McChicken sandwich. (Read the story. Its bizarreness doesn't stop with the headline.)

This follows on from my hearing about one person stabbing somebody with a squirrel a couple of days ago.

Also, this guy seems like a complete bastard, which you can also see from the headline but which you'll see even more from the story. (His wife is also pregnant, for example.)

In Related News

Thank you, Captain Obvious. In related news, victims of involuntary manslaughter also rarely talk to police.

The Continuing Saga of Lenny Dykstra

Here is another very long (though fascinating) article about how much of a tool Lenny Dykstra is. The picture being painted certainly isn't a pretty one. For reference, here is Dykstra's wikipedia page. I haven't read it, but it has been flagged as the neutrality being in dispute.

The article to which I link also has my quotes of the day. Here is the relevant snippet:

"He thought he could keep my $500,000 and nobody would have the resources to go after him," Dada says. "But in this case, I am going after him. General surgeons are not intimidated by professional athletes.

"Like I told him, if I can cut somebody from the neck all the way down to the pubis with a scalpel, then I cannot be intimidated.

OJ finally found guilty

As you can see from this article on CNN.com, the justice system has finally found OJ Simpson to be officially guilty of something.

(Whenever I see comments about OJ and 'guilty', I always think of the old menu at Caltech's Coffeehouse...)

Mugged!

I was walking back from the Paseo where I saw a late showing of The Simpsons.

I was accosted by 4-5 people. I'm ok (though I have a headache). I was hit very hard in the back of my head (I believe with a fist) and my iPod was demanded of me under threat of violence. I grudgingly gave up my iPod (it didn't seem like a good risk to do otherwise), walked home, and called the police to report the incident. (An officer is on his way over now so that I can give a complete report.)

Sigh...