I think for this one the simplest thing to do is just to repost my newest Facebook status update word-for-word:
Mason Porter just received a letter by snail mail, sent personally to him (not a mail merge), addressed to "Sr. Prof. Mason A. Porter". Somewhat intrigued, he opened the letter. Inside were the secrets to nuclear fusion, and apparently his recent expository article on the history of the Fermi-Pasta-Ulam problem was the final piece to the puzzle.
There's nothing else that needs to be said.
3 days ago
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