Airplane boarding: the model

Well, it's really 'a' model. Anyway, the following entry just got posted to the arxiv:


Title: Analysis of airplane boarding via space-time geometry and random matrix
theory
Authors: Eitan Bachmat, Daniel berend, Luba Sapir, Steven Skiena and Natan
Stolyarov
Comments: 4 pages
Subj-class: Physics and Society
\ We show that airplane boarding can be asymptotically modeled by 2-dimensional
Lorentzian geometry. Boarding time is given by the maximal proper time among
curves in the model. Discrepancies between the model and simulation results are
closely related to random matrix theory. We then show how such models can be
used to explain why some commonly practiced airline boarding policies are
ineffective and even detrimental.
\\ ( http://arXiv.org/abs/physics/0512020 , 79kb)
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Next time I have boarding issues, I can tell the airline personnel that random matrix theory says that their strategy is full of shit.

Now all we need is a model describing pre-boarding and we'll be set.