Sunday, March 08, 2009

What happens in the United States stays in the United States

I flew from Heathrow to LA yesterday and had a layover in the Twin Cities. As has become a tradition, I added a bit of a small incident with Customs Security to my resume. (Will somebody explain to me why so many of these people insist of being sarcastic without any provocation?) Part of it is that those people just can't handle the fact that I would choose to have a job somewhere outside of the US. (I am asked how long I've been gone, and I have to then explain that I live in the UK, which always leads to several subsequent questions.) When I say I am a professor, I am always asked what kind. (Note that yesterday I actually tried saying "mathematics professor" for that answer, and there was a brief bit of confusion when the guy didn't notice that I had said mathematics. I thought for a bit that he actually wanted me to say what kind of math I studied. I was like "Do you really want me to describe that?") This guy sarcastically asked "What do you profess?" I told him I was a math professor, though my heart screamed to give any one of a number of sarcastic responses at that point (unlike Roxette, I did not listen to my heart on that particular occasion), I just answered. His response was to ask me what the square root of 237 was, and he seemed a bit perturbed that I then paused to figure it out in my head. How else was I supposed to react? Anyway, he seemed convinced because of that and then let me through. All of this, of course, was after he told me he didn't want me puking on him (the whole motion sickness deal).

I'm on Caltech's campus right now, and I saw someone walk by with a t-shirt that said "Don't be a d^3s/dt^3" (I'm using latex notation here) on the back. (Yes, people at Caltech wear shirts like this! So do I, obviously...) I feel like I should get this, but I'm not. I was thinking of 's' as arclength, but I'm not sure. Does anybody have any ideas here? I must be missing something obvious...

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

s can be any spatial dimension (the shirt would work as well with x, y, z, r, any typical spatial variable). "Don't be a jerk". Excellent shirt, I wish I had one like that...

Do British customs goons give you a hard time in the other direction?

Mason said...

Oh, I think I see, though I don't usually call that "jerk."

On average, British customs goons are a lot nicer to me than the US ones.

adamo said...

Don't be a jerk: http://robotics.caltech.edu/~mason/ramblings/thirdDerivative.html

GFreak said...

Yup, we who destroy the beauty of mathematics by applying it to the real world call it jerk.

;)

Although I must agree with Richard Mason's assessment that very few people outside of those who study machines (specifically things like cam profiles) and very occasionally controls, few people call it jerk.

Mason said...

Heh, I believe I am one of the insiders when it comes to destroying mathematical beauty with such real-world applications, though I prefer to think of it as adding to the beauty of mathematics.

We can discuss this in the Research Triangle next week, if you'd like. :) (I will be there from Monday the 16th until the following Sunday.)

GFreak said...

Welcome to RTP!
Unfortunately the first Durham Bulls of the season isn't until April 9...
I'm not sure how busy I'll be (preparing my MS defense) but it would be neat to grab a coffee or something.
And you like pool, right? I've got a great dive pool hall that I go to as much as possible, and Wednesdays are smoke-free (8-ball league night).

Mason said...

A Durham Bulls game would have been sweet!

I am staying at the Carolina Inn starting on March 16th. (I am told that everyone in that area knows what that is? Let me know if that's crap or not...) I am planning to have dinner with Steve Van Hooser (Lloyd '98) on Wednesday. Would it make sense for all three of us to do something?

GFreak said...

Uh... Carolina Inn? I'll admit that I haven't explored the area very well (even though I've been here 2 years, 3 months), but I don't think I've heard of the Carolina Inn. Maybe everyone who works in the Triangle knows it? Popular for business trips to RTP? Donno.

Wed night dinner would be tough for me because I have 8-ball league play, and I'm on all-day/all-night work schedule while trying to finish my MS thesis (school deadline for defense is 1st week of April, I don't even have a complete draft yet and some experiments/sims still to run). Maybe I'll know better once it's closer.

Mason said...

Yeah, let me know once my visit draws nigh(er?). More nigh? What's the proper way to make a comparative statement using the 'nigh' phraseology?

It's great that you're in an 8-ball league. I am sooooo out of practice. You're probably much better than I am now, though I hope one day to play regular again. I think it's been close to two years since I played at all, and even then I hadn't been playing regularly for multiple years. Sigh... (Granted, this was true of ping pong as well, but then I got my skill back and even reached a new peak when I returned to Tech for a postdoc.)

GFreak said...

I first started league play back in Albuquerque in an 8-ball league, then dropped it for about a year and a half after I got here.
Last summer I started up again, this time in 9-ball. What a different game! I hadn't played much 9-ball before.
In January my home bar added the 8-ball league as well, so I'm doing both, though for the last two months I've basically abandoned them.
I'll get it back once the defense is done.

Mason said...

14-1 >> 8-ball >> 9-ball


The farthest you go to the right, the better chance one has of losing a game based on bad luck. (Granted, one plays a race to N for the latter two. 9-ball really annoys me, though, because of the fact that slop counts.)

GFreak said...

I had to look up 14-1, I had never heard that name (always called it straight pool).

I agree that for 8- and 9- there's more of an element of luck, but league 9-ball (APA) runs on a handicapped points system - 1 pt. for each of 1-8, 2pts. for 9. Your skill level determines the number of points you must reach (regardless of your opponents skill level).

The 8-ball APA handicapping system is VERY susceptible to luck - requiring only a number of racks won. I won my first three matches in the current session only making the 8-ball twice, with my opponents scratching or wrong-pocketing the other 4 times.

My rank is fairly low, 3 in both 8 and 9 leagues.
8-ball is a 2-7 scale.
9-ball rank goes 1-9.
I should be a 4 in both leagues pretty quickly once I get back to regular play.

GFreak said...

Oh, and APA 8-ball allows slop....

Mason said...

Wow, I didn't realize it allows slop. I played in some tournaments in grad school, but we obviously weren't using APA rules. (We allowed slop for 9-ball but not for 8-ball, which is what I was used to.) We weren't sophisticated enough to include handicaps. :)