Mmmm.... Sugar

According to this study, there is a correlation between chocolate consumption and experiencing depression. Well, duh. I'm not exactly shocked by this conclusion.

(And as a remark, I have several times purposely consumed sugar when feeling depressed---but not necessarily chocolate in particular.)

Congratulations to the 08-09 mathematical modelling MSc students!

Today we finished the vivas (thesis defenses) and awarded the diplomas for the mathematical modelling and scientific computation MSc (Masters) students for 2008-2009. We also awarded 5 "distinctions" (out of 18 students). I was the advisor or co-advisor of 4 of the 18 students. Two of my students received distinction, and one of my students (Ben Franz) won the Nuclear Electric prize for best overall student in the cohort. It just goes to show how far one can get by working on a project on cow synchronization. (Naturally, my other 2 students also performed well.) When giving out the results, we didn't have any stories amusing incidents like we did last year. I couldn't find a blog entry about last year, so let me briefly recount the story here:

The students line up alphabetically to come into a room and formally be given their results one by one. There was one student (I don't remember whom) to whom we forgot to tell some germane piece of information so we had to call him back in. Then we realized we had forgotten to tell him something else, so we called him back in again. Between one or both of his appearances in the room, other students had gotten their results. Then after we had called him back in twice, we decided we should call him back in a third time a little bit later just to screw with him. That incident remains perhaps the funniest moment I've experienced at Oxford, and it's certainly one of my best memories here outside of things of the form 'quality time with good friends'.

Anyway, congratulations to all of the students who graduated today! (And that would be all 18 of the students, by the way. We didn't fail anybody this year.)

I think the best quote that might have come from this is one I heard about second-hand---namely, a rather distraught statement of "I just had to read 100 pages about hypergeometric functions!"

By the way, John Ockendon ("Ock") says I should give a shout out to our esteemed External Examiner from Limerick, who came to Oxford armed with the knowledge that I have strong opinions and tend to be very passionate about things. I'm glad I have established my reputation. Also, I was once again the strictest Examiner by far this year. So end my duties as an MSc Examiner. (Two more years as a Part C Examiner, and then all of my Examiner duties will be over for a very long time.)

On a somewhat unfortunate note, I am feeling extremely depressed at the moment, though there isn't any good reason for it. The chemicals in my body simply aren't cooperating, and I have managed to get into a depressive episode. I even saw it coming, but my efforts to avert it weren't successful.

Doesn't entirely make sense

I'm a bit confused at the moment. I'm starting to become better friends with some local people. I went to the pub with a couple of them tonight. We hung out and had fun, opened up a bit, and and in general had a good time---and I very much like spending time with these particular people. Yet, I am back in my apartment and I feel a bit depressed at the moment and hope it's mostly because I'm tired. I think it goes go beyond my feelings of at guilt at not having worked on my grant proposal tonight (which is what I had intended to do). I have a thought or two on the matter, but I don't particular want to share them in this space. My thought processes aren't unfamiliar, though I still think that this isn't what my mood should be at the moment. Ah well, I guess I'll do a bit of stuff with my grant proposal because I need to give a new draft tomorrow so that I can get some more feedback.

I also got IMed with a 'thank you' from one of my SURF students because today is apparently 'Thank your mentor day.' I have several people I need to thank, so I think I should e-mail them before I go to bed. That helps my mood. (Actually, blogger was down and I couldn't post this when I first wrote the above. The IM from my student helped my mood a bit, as did sitting down and working a little on my grant proposal (even though I am not going to revise the draft as thoroughly as I'd like---nevertheless, I would like to get some more feedback on it without waiting the 3 weeks I'd need to wait if I didn't send in the new version tomorrow. So I think part of how I am feeling is guilt over the grant proposal, but I think some of it is also the thing that's bugging me that part of me feels very strongly shouldn't be bugging me at all. (I'm really annoyed at myself that I am worrying about what I probably can't have instead of focusing on the good stuff that I can and apparently do have. I really wish I could rewire myself on this.)

Winter doldrums

I've been feeling kind of homesick and depressed today, and I think some combination of the winter weather deal and (predominantly) my not eating much all day triggered it. (I had a very minimal lunch because the stuff at Somerville didn't look particularly edible and I went to do some work after that rather than go and get food elsewhere.)

I went to a friend's housewarming party this evening and had fun, but after I was there for about 4.5 hours, I left because I really felt I needed to be on my own at that moment (and I also decided I should probably get some dinner so that I didn't screw myself up for tomorrow too). I didn't know very many people there, which in my depressed mood eventually started reminding me that I missed my Caltech peeps and made me feel anti-social. Anyway, I ended up getting far enough out of my comfort zone once the party got too big --- I was doing reasonably well before too many people arrived --- and decided that was enough for the day.

Of course, I'm very pleased that somebody thought enough of me to invite me in the first place, but my shy nature still often gets the best of me. (When we have our receptions in the SCR on guest nights, I tend to go sit somewhere and sip juice [before dinner] or eat some chocolate [after dinner] and wait for somebody to come up to me to talk --- in some respects, it's kind of reminiscent of how I always was during a certain thing I like to call Rotation. Things are a bit different when the younger people hang out together on Monday nights (the tone of the discussions are definitely different as a result of this) and because I know some more of the Somerville people now, it's usually also reasonable on the Tuesday guest nights (where more of the older people are also around) though my shyness still comes very much into play with the somewhat more formal setting.)

In other news, my stuff got through customs yesterday, so I should finally get all my things next week. (I am currently involved in e-mail discussions to try to figure out exactly when it will be delivered. The movers proposed Tuesday, but I am leaving early that day for my conference in Durham, so we'll see what can work.)

Among other things, this means that I will shortly be able to have a games night at my place. I've gathered a reasonable number of people I want to invite, so that should be fun. Also, because I'll be in my home base, that should help a lot with my comfort level. (I will also have a separate games and ice cream night for my mentees.)

OK, that's about it. I'm going to go blog about movies and then read a fantasy novel a bit.