Alternative Cuss Words

I am highly amused by this pamphlet of alternative cuss words.

Well kiss my grits!

Some of the alternatives (e.g., "cotton pickin" and some others) that are considered ok in this crib sheet are actually really bad if one thinks about them. And some of the ones to "handle with care" seem just fine to me. Also, I'm not sure what game-show hosts like Alex Trebek, Pat Sajak, and Bob Saget have to do with any of this.

(Tip of the cap to Ajay Johnson.)

Update: Steve Van Hooser pointed out "son of a motherless goat" as a particularly good one. Indeed it is, and I fondly remember its use in the show Perfect Strangers.

Cursing Sentiments About Programming Languages

In case you are wondering how people really feel (at least on Reddit) about certain programming languages, the picture in the Tweet below shows the frequencies of a few curse words in different programming languages.

Cursing per programming language in reddit comments (python is in 5th position ;)
From https://t.co/Lwu4kBg6yl pic.twitter.com/Pp2TtLoC8X

— Esteban Moro (@estebanmoro) August 27, 2016

You can take a look at more of the sentiment analysis on this page.

Some Curse Words: Old-School and New-School

Some of our body-oriented curse words have been around for a very long time.

Seeing these charts makes me think of George Carlin's skit Incomplete List of Impolite Words.

I think I may never think about the word "ultimatum" in the same way again. I don't remember ever seeing that usage of that word before.

(Tip of the cap to George Takei.)

Stung!

I think I just literally experienced the sharpest, most intense physical pain that I have ever had in my entire life (and my fingers were once slammed in a car door, so that's saying a lot).

I was walking merrily along to get a smoothie for lunch, and some insect stung me horribly in my right pinkie right in the bottom spot where I bend it. The stinger went all the way through and poked another (smaller) hole through the skin farther up my finger.

I ending up apologizing profusely for my salty language to the two nice ladies who stopped their walking to ask me what was wrong.

That was close to 30 minutes ago, and my hand is still shaking a bit (and I can't make a firm fist, and it really shakes when I force myself to make a fist). And it still hurts like Hell, though not as intensely as during the heated moment. The pain is very slowly dulling.

I hope that insect dies a slow, painful death (maybe nailing me was its last act of defiance?), and then I hope it gets experimented on. I know biologists --- I could make this happen.

I have been stung before --- on the bottom of my foot, even --- and it was nowhere near as painful as this time.

As some of you know, I have a history dating back to not just my Caltech days but all the way to Beverly Hills. (I never did get stung by one of the Caltech hornets, even though they harassed me a lot.)

My smoothie was well-earned.

In conclusion: Ouch. And Fuck.

Diffusion of Swear Words in Japan

An article published last year in Physical Review E analyzes the diffusion of swear words in Japan. (This is not obvious from the abstract, so take a look at the .pdf file if you have institutional access to the journal.)

Here is a brief excerpt: The most beautiful example of Yanagita’s theory is the distribution of swear words. The Japanese are not known for their frequent use of swear words, but if you nevertheless are cursed at by someone with baka (∼stupid person), the one you are having trouble with is probably from Tokyo. If you instead hear aho (∼dumb), he or she is most likely from the Kyoto-Osaka area. The confrontation between these two swear words is so clear that it is considered by the people as a part of the competition between the two major cultural centers.

(Tip of the cap to Sang Hoon Lee.)

Periodic Table of Swearing

Here is a Periodic Table of Swearing. Awesome! George Carlin would be proud.

Now I am wondering if there might also be a quasiperiodic table?

(Tip of the cap to Mariano Beguerisse Díaz.)