Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Tales from the ArXiv: The "Chicken McNugget Monoid"

Yes, there really is a mathematical object called the "Chicken McNugget Monoid", and here is a screenshot from page one of the paper.


Apparently, this comes from the standard nugget counts in boxes of Chicken McNuggets. Here is one line from the paper: Under regular integer addition, ⟨6,9,20⟩ forms a monoid, meaning the sum of any two McNugget numbers is again a McNugget number. And if this sounds like something out of The Onion, you may be interested in this recent article.

Also, in case you were wondering: Using [17, Proposition 1 and Table 1], it follows that the Frobenius number of 🐤 is 43. This is the largest number of Chicken McNuggets that cannot be ordered using whole boxes of sizes 6, 9, or 20.


Sunday, June 02, 2019

Actual (Perhaps?) New Idea: Pogo Sticks Instead of E-Scooters

What could possibly go wrong?

Also: #nottheOnion

Update: One of my friends was suggesting that this is a joke from the 'company', and that may be true. There are so many real ridiculous things nowadays that I find it hard to tell.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Upcoming Film: The VelociPastor

And in today's WTF news, The VelociPastor is apparently a real film. See the trailer in this article, which has a slightly incorrect title (and which I saw before looking up the IMDB entry).

Naturally, the first thing that came to mind is that they are trying to give Black Sheep (the very baaaaaaaad "comedy" horror film) a run for it's money.

Here is how the movie is described on IMDB: After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas.

So. Very. Wrong.

(Tip of the cap to Chris John.)

Monday, September 03, 2018

Googly Eyes, and Freshness of Fish

Well, this story is fishy. Wow. (And oy vey.)

The headline pretty much sums it up: Store shut down after owners caught sticking googly eyes on fish to look fresher

P.S. There are also other uses for googly eyes.

(Tip of the cap to Renée O'Rear Handley.)

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Tales from the ArXiv: Paper Updating Edition

Do you think the authors will update their paper again soon?

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Tales from the ArXiv: "Sheep Soliton"

You had me at "sheep soliton".

Yes, under a suitable approximation, it appears that you can gave a soliton description of certain types of collective behavior in sheep.

Below are the title and abstract. (I was hoping for an intriguing picture from the experimental data, but alas the visuals in this article are run-of-the-mill.) In other contexts, when sheep (a type of 'active matter') behave like a fluid, there are obvious jokes to tell about "shearing instabilities".

Title: Sheep Soliton

Abstract: Monitoring small groups of sheep in spontaneous evolution in the field, we decipher behavioral rules that sheep follow at the individual scale in order to sustain collective motion. Individuals alternate grazing mode at null speed and moving mode at walking speed, so cohesive motion stems from synchronizing when they decide to switch between the two modes. We propose a model for the individual decision making process and parametrize it from data. Next, we translate this individual-based model into its density-flow equations counterpart, considering 1D-motion along the group trajectory. Numerical solving these equations display a solitary wave propagating at constant speed. Coupling individual and collective levels, groups motion can then be seen as a wave propagating at some fraction of the individual walking speed even though each individual is at any moment either stopped or walking. Considering the minimal model embedded in these equations, we show analytically that it has the Korteweg-De Vries (KdV) Soliton as a steady regime solution. This soliton emerges from the non linear coupling of start/stop individual decisions which compensate exactly for diffusion and promotes a steady ratio of walking / stopped individuals, which in turn determines the wave speed. The convergence to only one solitary wave from any initial condition, and which can recover from perturbation, gives a high robustness to this biological system.

Update (12/18/17): I forgot to make a snarky remark along the following lines: One first needs to do a continuum approximation to get a relevant nonlinear wave equation.

For the actual sheep, one would think that there is some energy shedding as the wave propagates. :)

Friday, December 08, 2017

A Very Long Login ID

For reasons that I can't fathom, the staff member for the journal decided to give us a login ID with 71 characters.

Apparently, one can never have too many characters in a login ID, especially a prime one.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

New Technology: Playable Records Made from Oreo Cookies

I know this sounds nuts, but I'm serious! And I from a physics perspective, this seems eminently doable.

I know of a great song that would be perfect to turn this into a Caltech-themed prank...

Given these developments, we clearly need a DJ Cookie Monster to take proper advantage of this new technology.



Saturday, April 08, 2017

Most Popular Purchases Online in Each State

Some of these popular online purchases are spectacular, by which I mean "awesome". Wow.

(Tip of the cap to George Takei.)

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Matching Bar Graphs to Percentages

Good try, NBC2. Thank you for playing.

(Tip of the cap to Maria Satterwhite and at least one person who I can't remember.)

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Meanwhile, in Wales...

I am highly amused by this headline, which I have reproduced for the screenshot below.


And then maybe we'll get a sequel to the movie Black Sheep.

Note: One can also find comments like the following online: "The 'psychotic sheep' story is fake. It's the UK media at its very worst. It is dishonest reporting based on distortion of one stupid farmer's delusional ideas. It never happened." Nevertheless, I find the headline to be very amusing.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

I Wonder Who's Going to Play ⊦ in the "Tetris" Movie?

Yes, that's right: in a puzzling development, there's going to be a movie based on the game "Tetris". I wonder who will be cast to play ⊦? Also, WTF?

Monday, March 21, 2016

Your Own Personal Peer-Reviewed-Journal

One living philosopher has a peer-reviewed journal dedicated to himself!

It would be hilarious if one of his own papers were rejected by the journal.

(At least it's open-access.)

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Technology Translation

So.... can anybody translate what a funding agency means when they write "Describe the empowerment of new and high-potential actors towards future technological leadership."

Seriously, WTF. I read that, and my mind just goes "[tech] [tech] [tech] [tech] [tech] [tech] [tech]" like in the script for a sci-fi movie.

I had a ton of problems with just the buzzword version of the word "disruptive", which seems like child's play compared to the sentence above.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Coach Manny Ramirez

In bizarre news the Cubs have signed Manny Ramirez to be a player-coach at AAA. The idea of Manny Ramirez coaching anybody makes me LOL.

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

Rodman Vs. Kim: One on One

The java mini-gam, Rodman Vs. Kim: One on One is just too funny. It has a combination of snarky commentary and allusion to a game from bygone times that I simply love. (I never did like that old game or its sequel, but I am highly amused by the reference to it amidst the current basketball diplomacy. I just find this whole thing to be bizarre more than anything else.)

(Tip of the cap to Travis Hime.)

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Bulletproof Whiteboards

Every university should have bulletproof whiteboards, right? I hope they erase well, at least. And now maybe I can make my exams even harder? :)

This is pretty depressing. Well, my actual reaction is one of simultaneous amusement and depression: On one hand, it's really a bad sign of what our world and our lives have become. On the other hand, these are bulletproof whiteboards, and the only really proper reaction to that is LOL!.

Anyway, I could really use one of these...

Also, we totally need these for our new Mathematical Institute building! (Into which we'll be moving ... very ... soon ... now ... really.)

(Tip of the cap to Andrew Waugh. Note that I have updated this entry with additional snarky and non-snarky text from the original version.)

Friday, August 16, 2013

Seattle Police Department to Hand Out Free Doritos at Hempfest

Don't believe me? Just read the news for yourself.

As the Seattle PD's Twitter feed says (in response to some flack): "Please ignore maliciously false reports that we're giving out Bugles at @seattlehempfest. We would never, ever do that."

At least this department has a sense of humor. The LAPD tends to hand out very different things (rather than Doritos)...

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Profiling?

A funny thing happened on the way back from campus...

I was walking from campus to the bus station when a police officer pulled me aside and said he wanted to talk to me. He explained that there had been an Asian male who had spent an inordinately large amount of time in a bathroom on campus and that I somewhat matched his description. (What?)

So I explained to him that I was a mathematician and that I was going home from a seminar, and he let me go.

I think that I played the 'mathematician' card to get out of trouble rather than the 'not Asian' card out of pure instinct (or perhaps reflex).

I almost never actually try to get into trouble, but I really have developed a strange knack for getting into these types of situations.

P.S. And it gets better. This was Officer Lee (who had some Asian features but wasn't obviously Asian) who stopped me to have a word with me.

I think that this story really has to become part of my legend---especially because it's 100% true.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Do You Have Enough Subject Classification Tags?

Really, Alex and Alan? Are 19 separate classes in the Mathematics Subject Classification truly necessary? Don't you think that's just a bit extreme?

There is nothing wrong with this, but you've managed to win my WTF award for the day. (That said, this paper now makes me wonder if this is the record.)

In summary:

(a) That seems a bit extreme.
(b) I wonder if this is the record.
(c) Seriously, WTF?


Update (1/14/13): One of my students checked the data that we have, and the maximum number between 1980 and 2009 appears to be 8 secondary MSCs (the one above has 1 primary MSC and 18 secondary MSCs). Wow.