Ten Thousand Years of Fresh Air

Well, life once again imitates Spaceballs: A Canadian company is important canisters of clean air to China.

The need to get fresh air from the planet Druidia is one of the central plot points of Spaceballs. Here is one of the relevant quotes: Ah, planet Druidia. And under that air shield, ten thousand years of fresh air. We must get through that air shield!

And, of course, life has imitated Spaceballs several times: This includes not only an incident of "mowing the ocean" (which is only slightly more effective than combing the desert) and the hacking of a combination that is the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage but also a chastity belt and canned oxygen for sale. This story revisits the canned oxygen.

Tales from the ArXiv: The Cheese Flows Alone

I just noticed a new paper on the arXiv with the following eye-catching title: Quantifying thermally induced flowability of rennet cheese curds

I think I might smell an Ig Nobel prize in the authors' future...

Human, Meet Nonlinear Oscillator. Nonlinear Oscillator, Meet Human.

Yes, really. The title of the paper was a bit odd (because of the stress on "social" interactions via the 'human dynamic clamp'), but this idea looks very cool!

A Very Short Paper Title

Wow, now that is a very short paper title: 'Q', just 'Q' --- which represents 1 divided by the attenuation factor (not modularity and also not Q).

Sociologist Jim Moody once submitted a paper called "Titles" to a journal. He was trying to get a one-word title, but that didn't fly with the journal, so he switched the title to something very long. (I e-mailed Jim to ask him for a link, which I will provide once I have it.)

The shortest title (in terms of number of words) that I have used in a paper is two. That occurs in http://people.maths.ox.ac.uk/porterm/papers/multilayer_review-published.pdf this paper. It broke my previous record of 3 words. Now I need to try to write a paper with a one-world title. I don't think I'll ever get down to one letter.

Update: Jim sent me a .pdf of his paper. It turns out that the story I heard about the title being hugely long isn't true. Rather, his paper is called "Trends in Sociology Titles", which is accurate but doesn't have the same effect as going overboard.

Love, Three-Body Problems, and Chaos

Well, mathematicians certainly like to discuss love and its chaotic implications. (Remember, the three-body problem is provably chaotic.)

Ig Nobel Show from Friday

Stevyn Colgan has written a wrap up of the Ig Nobel show two days ago. I was one of the performers. Alas, despite the description, I have not actually won an Ig Nobel prize. :(

If a video shows up later, I'll post it. In the meantime, go to 39:00 in this video of the entire 2012 Ig Nobel show at Imperial College if you want to see me give my 5-minute comedic presentation on cow synchronization.

This is Improbable Too

I didn't realize this before last night's Ig Nobel show (in which I performed), but our work on cow synchrony made not only the new Improbable Research book but also its cover.

Now all I need is an actual Ig Nobel Prize to go with it...

Additionally, here is a video of an Ig Nobel show in which I performed in 2012. I am introduced and start discussing cow synchronization at about 39:00 in the video.

The Fluid Dynamics of Minimizing "Splashback"

Wow, fluid dynamicists sometimes study some really fun problems, like the fluid dynamics of urinating and trying to minimize "splashback". As some physicists have discovered using their patented "Water Angle Navigation Guide" (note the acronym), one of the keys to reducing splashback is to use a narrow angle of attack. (Note: Do not confuse this with "backside attack" from organic chemistry.)

The physics of urination seems to have become a popular research topic lately. It looks like competition for an Ig Nobel prize is going to be pretty stiff.

(Tip of the cap to whoever posts for Physics Today on Facebook, and thanks to Martin Gould for pointing out the acronym above. I actually missed that when I first read the article.)

Going Batty

And, sometimes, you just want to listen to the Batman theme produced by actual bats. Come on: click on the link. You know you want to!

Do They Get Their Kicks Above the Waistline (Sunshine)?

Apparently, male chess players make riskier opening moves when they are playing attractive female players.

(Tip of the cap to Annals of Improbable Research.)

Children + Taxes Implies Chaos

Yes, really. And this new paper (which is called Child Allowances, Fertility, and Chaotic Dynamics) claims to prove this in a model using rigorous mathematics. Obviously, this depends on how much one believes the model. The paper is written in a rather abstract manner, so clearly I am skeptical.

There are some "awesome" things in the article, however. For one thing, I am not sure how chaotic dynamics is important to the problem at hand (as opposed to just in the model the authors happen to study), but chaos is genuinely important in other applications, so who knows? Another big "win" is the use of the term "allowance". What the authors have in mind is the number of children that one is allowed to have, but the other (unintended) interpretation of parents giving a child an "allowance" with which to buy things is what truly makes this a thing of beauty. I didn't look carefully enough at the mathematics itself, so I have no opinion on that. Rather, I am viewing this through my mathematical modelling lens, and I think it is "awesome" from that perspective. And the article title is truly a thing of beauty!

This is the type of article that makes me both laugh and cry --- and I think that there might be an Ig Nobel Prize in store for the authors of this paper.

Modelling Human Butts

The Improbable Research Blog has highlighted an abstract on modelling of human buttocks. This was presented last December at the 7th Australasian Congress on Applied Mechanics, and surely this is a very important topic in mechanics. And if you look at the first reference in the bibliography, you'll notice that it is my Dong et al. :)

Could You Clarify That a Bit?

The Annals of Improbable Research blog has a brief discussion of an upcoming journal article about the virtues of vagueness in vision statements. Choice line from the journal article: "We also explore the paradox that, occasionally, the path out of ambiguity involves the initial injection of even more ambiguity into an already ambiguous situation."

Wow.

My "Performance" at the Imperial College Ig Nobel Show (3/9/12)

Here is the video for the show that includes my 5-minute "performance" on cow synchronization as part of the Ig Nobel show at Imperial College on 9 March. My 5 minutes of fame occurred right after Marc's long introduction.

(Tip of the cap to the Annals of Improbable Research's very own Marc Abrahams --- the head honcho there --- with whom I just finished having coffee.)

Models Discussing Quantum Mechanics

This commercial is fantastic.

I would love for some of the academic text I've produced (even if plagiarized, as was the case here) to end up in a commercial like this one.

Most Improbable

Here are some interesting tidbits from the latest issue of Mini-AIR.

(1) An article in Journal of Forensic Sciences called
Blood and Tissue Spatter Associated with Chainsaw Dismemberment. This reminds me a bit of a problem that I thought would be great for Physics 103 (on 'order-of-magnitude physics') on the mean free path of a person after they exploded in a certain way.

(2) An article called Self strangulation by hanging from cloth towel dispensers in Canadian schools. Blame Canada, indeed.

(3) An article in Journal of Food Science called Magnetic Resonance Temperature Mapping of Microwave-Fried Chicken Fingers. I wonder if any of the chicken fingers were shaped like Italy?

Penis Economics

Annals of Improbable Research posted blurbs of a couple of interesting-looking papers on Facebook.

One paper, according to the first sentence of its abstract, "explores the link between economic development and penile length between 1960 and 1985."

Another paper discusses etiquette versus effort in door-holding, which some of you know quite well is actually very important to me. Here is a link to the actual paper. I should mention, though, that my purpose in doing this is not to minimize total effort; I do it because it's the right bloody thing to do!

Coefficient of Obliviousness

This paper has the best scientific term ever: the coefficient of obliviousness, which is denoted by a backwards question mark.

(Tip of the cap to the Annals of Improbable Research newsletter.)

"I shot an arrow in the air / It fell to earth I know not where..."

There a couple of big wins in the new issue of Mini-AIR. For example, here is an article called Can a Falling Bullet Be Lethal at Terminal Velocity? Cardiac Injury Caused by a Celebratory Bullet. The abstract is also excellent:

This is a case report of rare cardiac and abdominal organ injuries sustained by an innocent bystander from a New Year’s Eve celebratory gun shooting. The force and velocity of a projectile fired into the air as it ascends and returns to earth, along with its potential for bodily injury will be reviewed.


Another paper, called Transcranial Arrow Injury: A Case Report, thinks about the problem a little bit more literally. Here is a portion of its abstract and conclusion:

In this report, a 37 year-old male patient, who was shot by an 'arrow' accidentally, was evaluated regarding clinical
presentation, treatment and clinical progress.... CONCLUSION: Management of such cases are still beyond the textbooks and
guidelines and it is depending on the surgeon's skill and experience in general neurosurgery.


I think what amuses me most are the quotations around the word 'arrow'.



On a complete separate note, this issue of Mini-AIR mentioned a paper that had something to say about the Apple versus IBM logos. Here is a blurb (which I assume is the abstract, though I didn't check):

This manuscript first examines whether brand exposure elicits automatic behavioral effects as does exposure to social primes. Results support the translation of these effects: Participants primed with Apple logos behave more creatively than IBM-primed and controls; Disney-primed participants behave more honestly than E!-primed and controls.


I am extremely amused.