Some of my Past Materials Related to Academic Job Applications and Related Things

I've gotten an e-mail from someone indicating that the job-related materials that I have posted have been helpful to them, so this is a good impetus for me to broadcast them again in case others find them useful.

In case it's of interest to those of you on the academic job market (or people with mentees on the market), I have posted some of my materials: (1) a research statement; (2) a teaching statement; and (3) two equity, diversity, and inclusion statements: https://t.co/HDMKUPNTvF

— Mason Porter (@masonporter) November 20, 2019

"Unhappy Meals"

I am highly amused by Burger King's new Unhappy Meals (which are actually called "Real Meals").

I am surprised, given it's appearance as part of George Carlin's seven dirty words, that a "Pissed Meal" is included. (This would have a far different meaning in the United Kingdom, by the way.) I think that a "DGAF Meal", however, would appeal to me. ;P

(Tip of the cap to John Baker.)

Awesome Ballpark Promotion: Free Jayson Werth Chia Pets

The Washington Nationals are giving away Jayson Werth Chia Pets at their baseball game tonight. I approve! Note: I don't know how well Chia Pets are known these days, but I remember seeing tons of commercials for them when I was a kid.

Flamestrike in the Office?

Earlier this evening, I received a spam e-mail that included the following statement:

Please join me in congratulating [name]. Based on [his/her] high level of professionalism and performance, [his/her] job level has been increased from a level 8 to a level 9.

Here is what I wrote to one of my collaborators who is very familiar with the organization in question:

So is it supposed to be universal knowledge what level 8 and level 9 actually mean? Can [name] cast 5th level spells now?

And here is his response to my message:

Wow, that's just cryptic. I'm so glad I'm not on that mailing list! Maybe [he/she] gets a new cape?

And my response to that comment:

I would like to think that I now have to be careful about Flamestrike being cast in the office. I hear that self-immolation is pretty popular these days.