Emmy Noether in the New York Times

I cannot overstate how much it pleases me to see an article about mathematician Emmy Noether in a venue like the New York Times. (Not that the huge amount of time I have spent studying Hamiltonian systems makes me biased or anything. Somerville College is named after a female mathematician and used to be a women's College, so of course Emmy Noether is also somebody who I want my Somerville students to know about.)

(Tip of the cap to the MAA.)

Protection in Foreign Countries

Note to self: Bring protection if I ever visit Greece. (Um, is this photoshopped?)

Also, here is another nice poster, though I like this one for a very different reason.

Dinosaur Comics and Doing Arithmetic in One's Head

This issue of Dinosaur Comics is pretty funny. (I hadn't actually been aware that new "issues" of Dinosaur Comics were still being produced.) Of course, I remain partial to the one about Rotating Hell.

Airport Security Job Qualifications

I received some extra special screening at LAX, and one of the TSA security people involved was chatting me up. She was telling me about her educational background and eventually this led to the following exchange:

Me: "So how did you get this job?"

Security person: "I couldn't get anything else."

I think there is nothing else to say.

What Happens in Evanston Stays in Evanston

For Phase IV of my trip, I am flying to Chicago and heading off to Northwestern for a few days. (This is why I am up at this un-FSMly hour of the morning.) I'll be giving a seminar in the Engineering Science and Applied Mathematics (ESAM) department.

Wikipedia Page of the Day: List of Serial Killers by Number of Victims

This wikipedia page is awesome.

And do you know why? Because the text starts out with the following words: This list is incomplete; you can help by expanding this article to provide more information about past victims. Please do not expand the list with original research or adding yourself.

(Tip of the cap to the Demotivational Poster blog.)

Trampoline Accident

Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain injured himself rather gruesomely in a trampoline accident.

This isn't quite at the level of Glenallin Hill's injury that resulted from the spiders that attacked him in his sleep, but it does seem like a new entry in baseball's version of the Darwin Awards. (The spider incident is described briefly on Glenallen Hill's wikipedia page. Skip Carey used to always bring this up whenever Hill was involved in a game.)

Update: Courtesy of Sammy Kline, here is a slideshow of freakish baseball injuries. Naturally, this includes Glenallen Hill as well as Clint Barmes's bout with deer meat. But where is Chris Brown's bruised tooth?

Justifiably Picking on Physicists (Again)

This series of panels from the comic strip Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal hits way too close to him. XKCD's similar joke about physicists is even funnier, by the way.

(Tip of the cap to Anna Iwaniec Hickerson.)

Tales from the ArXiv: Cricket Tooth Edition

Sometimes people post some strange papers to the arXiv preprint server. Cricket teeth? Wow.

Right Track, Wrong Train

Cyndi Lauper certainly got it right when she sang "Right Track, Wrong Train". Because, you know, I did that today. And I only had a choice between North and South. Oops.

Note to self: Train networks are directed.

P.S. There were both very unkind and kind people on the train when I needed to borrow someone's cell phone to let my friends know that I would be an hour or so late. (To the bitch who didn't let me use your phone: You could have just said 'No' instead of lying that your phone was out of batteries and then starting to use it 2 minutes later and thereby rub things in.)

Supervising Students from Prison

I just want to assure my students that I would continue supervising them from prison (just like this guy) if I were ever imprisoned. Not that I'm actually planning on that or anything...

(Tip of the cap to Karen Daniels.)

What Happens in Palo Alto Stays in Palo Alto

I'm a bit late with this one, actually. I have been here since Sunday evening, and I will fly back to LA and head over to Beverly Hills tomorrow.

This has been primarily a social trip, which is very uncharacteristic for me, though I am sneaking in some work.

I had dinner with one of my new (from 2011) but still fabulous friends on Sunday evening, and otherwise I have mostly been hanging out with Techers. I visited the Belly of the Beast (aka, Facebook headquarters) yesterday as a combined work/fun visit. I hadn't (and still haven't yet, in the case of those I am seeing during the rest of the trip) seen some of these people for several years, so this has been nice. I should take social trips more often. :)

Lego Transformers Tetris Gameboy!

I so want this custom-made toy.

(Tip of the cap to Very Demotivational.)

At Which Store Do You Think This Happened?

This series of incidents apparently happened in Oxford. Now that's a big win.

"Sexually Rejected Flies Turn to Booze"

Wow. Just wow.

I have posted about fruit fly sex before, and apparently fruit flies show a greater preference for alcohol when they don't get any action.

All we need now is some fruit fly rock 'n roll.

(Tip of the cap to Andrew Waugh and Yunkyu Sohn.)

Best. Sign. Ever. (Buffet Edition)

This sign is absolutely wonderful. (It opened up my mind.)

(Tip of the cap to Peter Mucha.)

Playing Nintendo Games is Hard

Yup, one of the world's most important mathematical problems has finally been solved: some of the classical Nintendo games are NP-hard. In fact, several games in the Legend of Zelda series are also PSPACE-complete.

One of the authors of this paper is Erik Demaine, a brilliant young mathematics professor at MIT who also has a history of doing research on quirky problems. (I strongly suspect that an Ig Nobel Prize is in his future---perhaps even for this bit of research.)

One thing that would interest me about the puzzles in these various games is if such a result still holds when only considering the subset of "reasonable" (or perhaps even "good") moves. Essentially, I want to see a result of the computational complexity in more "practical" circumstances. On at least a philosophical level, this is similar to the idea of the worst-case scenario being hard but getting a good or good enough solution (say, a "good" local optimum, which could perhaps take more than the theoretically minimal number of steps) is easy in practice.

I'd be very interested in what some of you CS folks think about this stuff.

(Tip of the cap to Louis Wang, who posted a link to the Kotaku article on Facebook. I have chosen to link directly to the scientific article on the arXiv.)

Congratulations to Dr. Anna Lewis!

My DPhil student Anna Lewis passed her viva "today" (the 13th --- her exam started around the same time as my flight to LA). Anna has done some excellent work on protein-protein interaction networks and unsurprisingly passed with flying colors. She just has to make a few phrasing tweaks and she'll be done.

I was trying to send my congratulatory e-mail to her, but sadly the e-mail server seems to be broken.

Bimodal Sleeping

Apparently, bimodal sleeping (in which there is a 'first sleep', a waking but restful time of an hour or two, and a 'second sleep') harkens back to tradition. I do this a lot, except for the "restful" part.

(Tip of the cap to Jimmy Lin.)

What Happens at Sunbelt Stays at Sunbelt

Tomorrow morning I fly away for my Spring 2012 trip, and I'm really excited about it because I'll be doing lots of cool stuff---both on the professional side and on the social side. I will start off my epic journey by going to the proverbial Sunbelt Conference in Redondo Beach. This is a conference on social networks, so I'll be hanging with the sociologists (and other social scientists, of course). While there, I will be staying with friends who live a couple of blocks from the hotel where the conference is occurring.

A Grammar Nazi Almost From Birth

Apparently, I was quoted as using the word "etc." (correctly, I might add) at the age of 22 months, and there is documented evidence of this! I can't say I remember this, but the evidence is certainly there, and I'll happily take credit for it. My mother gave my sister the baby book that she used for my sister during her first month of life, and there are some quotes from me contained therein.

I guess my life as a grammar nazi started very early indeed.

(Tip of the cap to my sister---and I'll spare her by not posting my other comments that went along with the "etc.")

Quote of the Day

I just found a nice quote from The Peanut Farmer (aka, Jima Carter) while I was moiling away: A strong nation, like a strong person, can afford to be gentle, firm, thoughtful, and restrained. It can afford to extend a helping hand to others. It's a weak nation, like a weak person, that must behave with bluster and boasting and rashness and other signs of insecurity.

"Delicious and Versatile"

Maybe my mind is in the gutter, but my thoughts go in all sorts of horrible directions when I see a package describing the maple syrup contained therein as "delicious & versatile".

And, in case you were wondering, part of the reason I bought this is that I didn't have my camera with me at the market, and I wanted to snap and post this picture.

What Happens in Nottingham Stays in Nottingham (Take 2)

This evening after my tutorials, I will take the train to Nottingham. Tomorrow I will be giving the Mathematical Physics seminar in their mathematics department, and maybe I'll sneak in a little bit of robbing from the rich (and perhaps even giving to the pour) while I'm at it.

A couple of years ago, I gave a seminar to the applied math group in this department, though I understand that the various research groups have been reorganized since then.

Bletchhhhhhhhley Park

I took my second trip to Bletchley Park today. Here are some pictures. I imagine that some of you might convince me to take a third trip there when you visit me in the UK. :)

RIP James Q. Wilson (1931-2012)

James Q. Wilson, well-known political scientist and author of the textbook I used for AP Political Science when I was in high school, died today.

I love his quote about moving back to the Boston area a few years ago: [his descendants] "feel a legal obligation to live within 30 minutes of Fenway Park."

(Tip of the cap to Andrew Waugh.)

Precocious Murder Eyes

How does one get this good at 'murder eyes' at that age? Wow, this demotivational poster is fantastic.

Quote of the Day

One of my Somerville students was give a presentation (jointly with one of his fellow students) about iteration and have an example with the logistic map and the period-doubling route to chaos. He seemed to be unhappy about the behavior of the map becoming messy and indicated that things become "horrible".

I then made the following comment: Some would call it [chaos] horrible, but others would call it wonderful.

To which he responded: Some people just want to watch the world burn.

So it Has Come to This

Yes, yes it has.

Ryan Braun Wins Appeal of his 50-Game Suspension

Wow. I wasn't expecting Ryan Braun to actually win his appeal of his 50-game suspension for alleged use of performance-enhancing drugs. In practice, it seems all but impossible to challenge such things. Hopefully, his reputation won't be sullied even with this victory, but alas I think (cynically) that the accusation itself will already have a massively detrimental effect that he'll feel for many years. I don't expect that details behind arbitrator Shyam Das's decision will come out any time soon, but I'm certainly interested in finding out about them.

Life Imitates Spaceballs

I'm not sure how I missed this, but apparently the Syrian president, whose (office's) e-mail account was hacked, used the same combination I have on my luggage.

I thought this story was fake, but quick googling suggests that it's actually true. (Maybe deeper googling will revealing that it isn't? Please let me know if that ends up being the case.) It's amazing that I didn't catch this for 2 full weeks.

(Tip of the cap to the Demotivational Poster blog.)

D'oh!

When something like this happens, I think one has to just quote Homer Simpson.

(Tip of the cap to American Physical Society.)

Another Classic

Another classic...

A person thought I had not answered his/her e-mail from a couple of weeks ago and e-mailed to remind me to answer the e-mail. This person seemed to have forgotten that I answered the e-mail on the day that it was sent. This has led to the following exchange.

Other Person: "Please excuse my chasing you up but please would you be kind enough to answer my email."

Me: "I already answered the e-mail below, and you already responded to my answer. Would you like me to forward to you the response you gave to my response?"

Schrödinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker

This particular geek toy is pretty damn awesome.

If the shipping cost to get this to the UK weren't so expensive (it costs about the same as the object itself), I would have purchased it. Se la vie.

(Tip of the cap to Jed Yang.)

One of My Best Quotes Ever?

I just wrote this beauty in an e-mail: I think those are disparate thoughts of mine in very nearby places when projected onto the piece of paper.

RIP Gary Carter (1954-2012)

Hall of Fame catcher Gary Carter died today.

It remains very weird when somebody who had his heyday during my era is gone.

Scholarpedia Article: "Small-World Network"

My Scholarpedia article on small-world networks is now officially published.

Here is the small summary from the beginning of the article: "A small-world network refers to an ensemble of networks in which the mean geodesic (i.e., shortest-path) distance between nodes increases sufficiently slowly as a function of the number of nodes in the network. The term is often applied to a single network in such a family, and the term "small-world network" is also used frequently to refer specifically to a Watts-Strogatz toy network."

Mad Props to the American Physical Society for the New Wave Music Reference

I have got to give the American Physics Society mad props for using a Gary Numan reference in their title for this article.

Whoever does the Facebook posts for Physics Today was even more explicit about the reference, as they mentioned Numan's song, Are 'Friends' Electric?, explicitly. (They did get the title slightly wrong, however, as the word 'friends' is in quotes in the title, and the question mark is in the title as well. Not to have a Comic Book Guy moment or anything...)

-1% of the Vote

Apparently, it is now possible to get -1% on a poll. Wow. That is kind of "awesome", though.

(Tip of the cap to Jed Yang.)

Tales from the ArXiv: The Random Walk of Life

There is a new article on the arXiv called Brownian Motion in Dire Straits. I guess you might say that this is the "Random Walk of Life" (rim shot!).

The Physics of Ponytails

Leave it to Ray Goldstein and company to investigate the physics of ponytails. This BBC News article covers research in an article published today in Physical Review Letters. Among other things, the authors of the article define a new dimensionless quantity that they coined the "Rapunzel number". Oh dear...

An Interesting Picnic

Take a look at this demotivational poster. The fact that one on the far right is extra-strength headache medicine makes this even funnier.

My "Famous" Roadrunner Impersonation

I just posted it online.

(I am trying to avoid writing up exam solutions.)

The Thermodynamics of Love

This article is apparently about the thermodynamics of love. I have no further comments. :)

OK, I do have one more comment: In a sequel article, perhaps the author will ask whether sex is endothermic or exothermic.

(Tip of the cap to whoever does the Facebook posts for Physics Today.)

Clock of the Day

Wow, this clock is both awesome and ornery!

Seminar of the Week

One of the Mathematical Institute's seminars next week is the following:


Monday 13th Feb
*Partial Differential Equations Seminar
17.00 Gibson 1st Floor SR
The problem of wedge entry
Bryce McLeod (OxPDE)



Maybe it's just me, but I'm not so sure how keen I am to hear an old British guy discussing "wedge entry"...

Rockband is About to Get Rickrolled

Seriously. And it's happening on Valentine's Day.

"Critical Truths About Power Laws"

My opinion piece about power laws has just come out in Science. I was interviewed by a reporter writing a BBC article, which is slated to come out tomorrow. As I write this, the .html version of the article seems to have occasionally (and incorrectly) used the symbol for gamma instead of that for lambda. Sigh... The .pdf version of the file has the correct symbols. (We did all of the page-proofing on the .pdf version, so I only just saw the .html version for the first time.)

Anyway, here is a bit more about the article:


Title: Critical Truths About Power Laws

Authors: Michael P. H. Stumpf and Mason A. Porter

Tagline: "Most reported power laws lack statistical support and mechanistic backing."


What should I say? How about kaboom! Anyway, many of you know that I have been ranting about this for years.

Update (2/10/12): The BBC article is delayed until early next week. Apparently there is some actual news to report.

All Too Familiar

The reason I like this xkcd is because so many discussions at Tech --- especially in Upper or Lower Crotch, for example --- worked like this.

Speed Meets Speed

I love this demotivational poster. Sweet!

P.S. If you haven't ever heard my Roadrunner impression, you should definitely ask me about it. :)

"Accuracy of Mean-Field Theory for Dynamics on Real-World Networks"

One of my papers was published in final form today.

Title: Accuracy of Mean-Field Theory for Dynamics on Real-World Networks

Authors: James P. Gleeson, Sergey Melnik, Jonathan A. Ward, Mason A. Porter, and Peter J. Mucha

Abstract: Mean-field analysis is an important tool for understanding dynamics on complex networks. However, surprisingly little attention has been paid to the question of whether mean-field predictions are accurate, and this is particularly true for real-world networks with clustering and modular structure. In this paper, we compare mean-field predictions to numerical simulation results for dynamical processes running on 21 real-world networks and demonstrate that the accuracy of such theory depends not only on the mean degree of the networks but also
on the mean first-neighbor degree. We show that mean-field theory can give (unexpectedly) accurate results for certain dynamics on disassortative real-world networks even when the mean degree is as low as 4.


P.S. And as a preview, watch for something special starting on Thursday at 7pm. :)

2012 UK Ig Nobel Tour

If you want to see me talk about cow synchronization (for 5 whole minutes) as part of the 2012 UK Ig Nobel Tour, then you want to be at Imperial College on 9 March.

"Take On Me" with Accordions

This accordion version of "Take on Me" makes me geek out.

(Tip of the cap to They Might be Giants.)

Monday Night WASPblogging

The Oxford Learning Institute has an online course on Recruitment that I have been taking. Among the things that are stressed are diversity considerations (as well they should). Accordingly, I wonder if they realize how ironic it is that they are using the acronym WASP for something in the course! (In this case, WASP means Welcome, Ask, Supply, and Part.)

D'oh!

Quote of the Day: Restaurant Edition

I ordered a steak at Cafe Rouge tonight. The waiter then asked "How do you want to be cooked?" To which I responded (in complete deadpan): "Medium."

Ctrl-Alt-Del

I love this depiction of the Ctrl, Alt, and Del keyboard keys as tough guys. Now that's a win!

Neuroscience and Suzanne Vega

I always knew that I had voices in my head, and now neuroscientists can apparently see them.

Suzanne Vega seems to have hit the nail on the target with her song Blood Makes Noise:

But blood makes noise
It's a ringing in my ear
Blood makes noise
And I can't really hear you
In the thickening of fear


Here is a video for the song on YouTube.

P.S. You can count on me to connect neuroscience to Suzanne Vega.

(Tip of the hat to Physics Today.)

Cool Cover of "Everything Counts"

Here is a funky cover of "Everything Counts". Very cool!

(Tip of the cap to Sunny Park.)

The Muppets Take on Fox News

I can't even begin to describe how many types of WIN this fake press conference by Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy is. Wow.

(Tip of the cap to whoever does the Facebook posts for They Might Be Giants.)

Risk on Matlab

Do you know what's even better than playing Risk? That's right: playing Risk on Matlab.

Does anybody want to play? I swear I that won't betray any alliances...

National Data Privacy Day

Tomorrow is apparently National Data Privacy Day.

Good luck with that.

(Tip of the cap to whoever does the postings for Mathematics Awareness Month.)

Word of the Day: Whelm

There is something about the old English word for 'to bend over' being part of the origin of the word 'overwhelmed' that just feels so damn right.

20 Visualizations for 2011

I haven't quite finished reading this article yet, but here are 20 visualizations for 2011. These are mostly really good, but a couple of them are so-so.

So far, my favorite one (by leaps and bounds) is the evolution of video game controllers. Notice, for example, the dead end that is the U-Force (which I had the misfortune to choose to buy).

And in case you didn't realize it (though if you know me at all, you should have), I have a particular fondness for visualization.

(Tip of the cap to Jimmy Lin.)

Tastes Like Chicken

Here is a dendrogram summarizing what different foods taste like.

(Tip of the cap to the Improbable Research blog.)

Magic Mushrooms

Mario would certainly agree with the premise of this article.

I'm only posting this because the headline immediately made me think of the Super Mario games.

Soap makes you clean. SOPA makes you dirty. :)

And if anybody else came up with this, be it known that I arrived at it independently.

(As if I would have any other stance on this...)

Oh, and don't forget to sign Google's petition!

Movies in an Alternate Universe

Wow, these alternate-universe movie posters are amazing!

I had a couple of Comicbook Guy moments (hint: see the poster for Wolverine), but such trivialities pale in comparison to the massive coolness of these beauties. Very, very sweet!

(Tip of the cap to Gina Hall.)

Don't Try This at Home

About 30 minutes ago, I managed to slam myself in the eye with the edge of the door was opening.

I'm the only one who does these kinds of things, aren't I?

Update: The Facebook conversation related to this post has been pretty amusing. One person asked whether or not I remembered to apologize to the door. I gave the following answer: I didn't apologize to the door, but my loud gut-reaction yelling of "Goddamnit" startled the other don in the room, who (in typical British fashion) immediately apologized to me.

Origin of the Term "Half-Assed"

The term 'half-assed' actually has an interesting origin, though I like the idea that a full ass is what is considered to be good.

Yup, I'm Crazy Enough to Do That. :)

I always knew that I was.

Carl Friedrich "Guass"

According to this BBC article, the mathematician's last name is "Guass". SIGH... and CRINGE.

Also notice the nod to Oxford.

(Tip of the cap to Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics.)

Isn't it ironic, dontcha' think? (The Sequel)

I love irony. Wow, this is priceless.

Barry Larkin Elected to Baseball's Hall of Fame

In a rather unsurprising development, Barry Larkin was the only player elected to Major League Baseball's Hall of Fame on this years writers ballot. Ron Santo was previously elected by the Veterans Committee, and then of course the awards for writing and broadcasting were also announced previously. Larkin was named on about 62% of the ballots last year but about 86.4% of them this year, which was quite a leap. In an unfortunate sign, Jack Morris has reached 66.7 percent of the vote and will probably make it in the next two years (his last 2 years of eligibility on this ballot), Edgar Martinez was still only named on 36.5% of the ballot instead of taking a great leap forward, and Alan Trammell was only named on 36.8% of the ballots.. However, in a couple of very good signs, Jeff Bagwell is up to 56.0% and (in a particularly excellent sign) Tim Raines is up to 48.7%. I hope Bagwell makes it next year along with Biggio, though the crowded 2013 ballot will make that exceedingly difficult, and it does look like Tim Raines will make it eventually (which is excellent). Alan Trammell's jump was big, but he's probably going to have to wait until the Veterans Committee considers him.

Now I Know How to Get an Erdös Number of 1

The discussion on this web page provides the key for how I can get my Erdös number of 1.

Of course, another alternative will be provided if Paul Erdös ever rises from the dead.

[Tip of the cap to Annals of Improbable Research. Granted, the intention of their post probably wasn't to suggest a mechanism for obtaining an Erdös number of 1 (without Erdös having to rise from the dead), but I'll interpret this any damn way I feel like doing.]

Nonlinear Progress

This article, which concerns the contract extension just signed by the Angels' Howie Kendrick, includes an absolutely wonderful line:

Kendrick was one of the Angels' brightest prospects through the minor leagues, where he batted .360, but his progress in the majors was far from linear.

This kind of language in an article on a topic like baseball just warms my nonlinear heart.

Spinpossible

Eric Kelsic, one of my former students, has helped develop the game Spinpossible. You can read about the some of the mathematics related to the game in a paper posted to the arXiv.

The Most Important Anniversary of 2012

And I bet you know what it is, too?

That's right: 2012 marks the 40th anniversary of the release of what is probably George Carlin's most famous skit.

The man was a comic genius, and much of what he had to say back then still rings true today.

How many of those words can you say on television now? :)

In Related News

Thank you, Captain Obvious. In related news, victims of involuntary manslaughter also rarely talk to police.

Your

Wow, I totally understand this issue of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal (Tip of the cap to Lorian Schaeffer.)

And in Today's Installment of the Darwin Awards

Seriously?

iTunes Oracle: 2012 Edition

Well, it's Friday December 30th, but I am going to be gaming tomorrow night, so I'll write this blog entry now. What I really ought to do right now is work on a grant proposal (due imminently) or read the draft of a chapter of my student's Ph.D. thesis (on which feedback is needed immediately), but I'm not in the mood right now. Sorry. And it's already December 31st in the UK anyway---so there!

It's almost the end of the year, and it's time to once again bring out the iTunes Oracle, because I have to figure out somehow what 2012 has in store for me. You can take a look here to see the predictions for 2011 and links to the predictions for 2006-2009 (I skipped 2010).

The iTunes Oracle ambiguously predicted "One Hit" for 2011, and we'll see what the future says about whether that is indeed the case. I think I had my share of both hits and misses in 2011; happily some of the hits were big; some of the misses were big, too, but I have fought through some and will fight through others. Such is life. So what did this year have in store for me? Well, 2011 included a new friend, one new niece (that I know of), the usual academic adventures, a trip to Korea, some professional and (now-resolved, thankfully!) personal hiccups, lots of gaming, movies, baseball, Glee, occasional reminders that I am human (in both good and bad forms), and [most importantly!] plenty of good times with good friends (old and new). And did I mention gaming? And I'm sure there was other stuff that I am forgetting. Perhaps gaming?

Before I get into what the Oracle has to say, perhaps it's worth mentioning that I should just make my usual New Year's resolution: be a little bit less neurotic than the year before. [I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader to ponder whether this is a 2-step recursion or a 1-step recursion.]

Here is what the iTunes Oracle has to say about my 2012:

1. The Covering: A-Ha, There's a Reason For It
2. The Crossing: The Smithereens, Cigarette
3. The Crown: Simple Minds, New Gold Dream
4. The Root: Rammstein & Wolfsheim, Die Flut
5. The Past: R.E.M., Mine Smell Like Honey
6. The Future: Nouvelle Vague, Friday Night Saturday Morning
7. The Questioner: Enrique Iglesias, Solo Pienso En Ti
8. The House: The Rosebuds, Leaves Do Fall
9. The Inside: ABBA, Take A Chance On Me
10. The Outcome: Gipsy Kings, Pide Me La

Bonus Track: Oingo Boingo, Goodbye-Goodbye

Well, The Covering is nicely telling me that there is a reason for the reason. Isn't it supposed to actually give me a reason. Seriously, I should get my money back. The Crossing makes no sense. Usually things are ambiguous enough that I can at least fake a hokey interpretation. Come on, Oracle. The Crown seems to be rather positive, at least---or maybe it just refers to getting access to the gold luxury in my current Civ V game? I might well understand The Root, except I don't speak German and am too lazy to look up a translation. I think there is no comment that I could make about The Past that wouldn't sound really bad. The Future, however, is so bright (if short term) that I gotta' wear shades. Actually, given what that song is about, things really don't seem to be very promising at all. The Questioner seems to be heading in the direction of OCD. Or something. I suppose that The House can be construed to make some sort of sense in some sort of highly generic sense. (Does it even make sense to be "highly generic"?) The Inside could mean a lot of interesting things, and it has the right level of ambiguity for a fortune. And, yes, please do ask me about The Outcome. This whole thing is like answering a question with another question. Not that I would ever do such a thing.

And, finally, the Bonus Track is practically an ideal way to end things in this kind of blog entry. So, Happy New Year to all of you. And to those friends of mine who are reading this, drop me a line if we haven't talked in a while---or even if we have---and I hope to see you soon!

And in the end, I think there's really only one thing to say about 2012: Bring it on.

The Power of the Mind (Pure Energy?)

The contents inside this demotivational poster (ignore the caption, which is stupid) are pretty damn amazing. I was indeed able to read the scrambled words without a problem. That's pretty damn cool.

The Great Latke Debate

My mother and brother made latkes for lunch today. Yay!

When it comes to latkes, though, there are two big debates: thin vs thick and sour cream vs apple sauce.

I am on the side of thin (though this seems to be a rare preference) and sour cream.

I didn't previously realize this, but there really does seem to be a genuine latke-hamantash debate. This looks pretty damn funny! I especially like the comment about which one constitutes the universe's dark matter.

One Does Not Simply Google-Map into Mordor

Wow, this is awesome! Way to go, Google!

(I checked Google Maps myself and verified this easter egg. I approve!)

Messing with the Youngsters

My brother recently told me a short story about my Grandma Doris, who was sharp as a tack until the day that she died (in December 2003 at, I think, age 93). I don't remembering hearing this story before, but I have to say that it doesn't surprise me.

Although Doris was sharp as a tack (unlike most people her age, who usually exhibit a good amount of dementia), she did seem to occasionally be forgetful. One might start out a story with something like "Did I tell you about the time...?" And, on occasion, Doris would do that with a story maybe 5 minutes after having told us that same story. Well, one time, my brother caught her doing that on purpose---with full knowledge of having just told the story---just to fuck with us. And I bet she did it a lot; I certainly wouldn't put that past her, and I'm sure we deserved it, too.

I am so going to steal this idea when I'm old (assuming I last that long) and it's my turn to tell stories to the youngsters. Right before I tell them to get off my ****ing lawn...

"I'm a Jew on Christmas"

Thanks to Lemming for showing me this lovely song a couple of weeks ago. It summarizes my feelings about this "holiday" rather nicely.

The New Mathematics Building is Like Disneyland

We really need to be adding easter eggs into these monthly time-lapse movies of the construction of the new Mathematical Institute building. Somewhat less interesting (to me, anyway) are the daily time-lapse videos.

Every time I see something like this, I always think of the old time-lapse movies of the construction of Disneyland. I suppose that a new mathematics building is a little bit less sexy than that, but I like it.

As a special bonus, can you find me in any of the monthly videos?

By the way, one thing that would have been really awesome is to turn in such a video along with one's PhD thesis when ending one's graduate-school career.

"Mathematical Genealogy and Department Prestige"

Here is my latest winning entry in Chaos's Nonlinear Science Gallery. It's also apparently my final one, as (sadly) the competition has been discontinued.

My coauthors on this paper are Sean Myers and Peter Mucha.

Also, I'd like to give a special shout out to Chaos staff member Janis Bennett, who is retiring in a couple of days and with whom I have corresponded about numerous of my papers since I submitted my first paper to Chaos in 1999. That paper was the first scientific paper that I ever published (the final version came out in 2000). [Previously, I had submitted a paper from my undergraduate research to a couple of places, but it got rejected.] People like Janis, who need to put up with people like me, don't get enough credit for their hard work.

(Several means something like a dozen, by the way.)

What Happens in the LA Area Stays in the LA Area (Take N)

I am flying to LA at about 11:30 am tomorrow morning, and I am slated to arrive at LAX just after 3 pm. Hilarity will ensue.

Among other things, I am looking forward to friends, gaming, and sidequesting. I'll also spend a week and a half visiting Andrea Bertozzi's group in the UCLA math department. Once again, hilarity will ensue. Actually, I'll be collaborating with her group on mathematics and social systems, and I am particularly keen to work with them on something that uses the LAPD crime and gang data to which they have access.

And did I mention that I am going to be seeing my friends and gaming? Yay!

Too Many Turns?

I keep reading the local "Christmas Art and Craft Fair" signs as "Christmas Antiaircraft Fair" signs. Clearly, I have been playing Civ V way too much lately...

(This isn't quite as extreme as the Tetris pieces that used to fall when I closed my eyes and went to bed, but I still don't think that this is a good sign.)

Toffee Wins the Battle!

You can tell that toffee is of high quality if it comes with a hammer (and accompanying instructions) to help break it into pieces.

Maybe I should schedule an appointment with a dentist while I am in LA?

(I hope somebody gets the allusion in the title. Also, I encourage responses with your best possible MC Hammer references.)

New Mnemonics

XKCD has come up with some awesome new mnemonics! They will surely make school much more fun for the modern kids! Yet another big win from xkcd!

A big opportunity was missed, though: the planet one really should have included a joke about Pluto.

Models Discussing Quantum Mechanics

This commercial is fantastic.

I would love for some of the academic text I've produced (even if plagiarized, as was the case here) to end up in a commercial like this one.

Hitler Reacts to Albert Pujols Leaving the Cardinals

This isn't as cool as the video about the proverbial third referee, but Hitler's reaction to Albert Pujols leaving the Cardinals is still pretty amusing.

What Happens in Henley-on-Thames Stays in Henley-on-Thames

In perhaps the irony of the century, I am here in Henley-on-Thames for an Interdisciplinary workshop on the evolution of social norms.

Because you know me: I'm all about social norms. Yup.

By the way, I thought getting here would be easy, but in fact there was massive confusion, so I'm going to need to talk to the organizers about this. (I got so frustrated that I actually came close to heading back on the train to Oxford tonight.) Anyway, I'm here and I'm looking forward to the science!

(In fact, I will have one norm in my talk---exactly one norm: the entry-wise matrix 1-norm.)

"Tastes like fresh milk"

Sorry, but I'm skeptical.

Alternatively, one could attempt a 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' joke.

Lyrics of the Day

Today's lyrics are the first three lines of Pi by Kate Bush:

Sweet and gentle sensitive man
With an obsessive nature and deep fascination
For numbers

Lookin' Out My Back Door

This is the current view from my back door (rotated by 90 degrees).

I am absolutely sick of such shit being put in front of my door and invading the sanctity of my home. I have tried to be patient, but I am now out of patience. Formal complaints to the city will follow shortly if this is not removed soon and if anything takes its place. If a war is what they desire, then a war they shall have.

Here are some more pictures.

As for who "they" is, that is not entirely clear. My College (Somerville) has asked for prior things to be moved when I have brought this up before with them, and I have been assured that things won't be put back. (I believe it has usually been the contract workers they've hired who have actually put this stuff here.) That's all well and good---but this needs to start being enforced in practice, and it needs to happen now. So I'm not even sure who to file a complaint against and I will need to figure that out. But this has got to stop.

Oh, and cue the Creedence.

Update (12/11/11): I forgot to mention this, but notice all of the warning and danger signs on this 'skip' (to use the UK term). I especially like the sign about the in-progress asbestos removal. Because that's what they're doing: they are in the process of removing asbestos from College buildings (for safety reasons!) and storing it 3--4 feet from my house while work is in progress! Bastards.

"As You Are No Doubt Aware..."

Here is what appears to be a Britishism: "As you are no doubt aware" means something like "I think you missed this really obvious point (you moron)."

Albert Pujols Signs a 10-Year Deal with the Angels

Wow, this is pretty major! Albert Pujols has signed a 10-year contract with The The Angels Angels of Anaheim! Wow!

Update: As you can see in the linked article above (which has been updated), the Angels have also signed free agent starting pitch C.J. Wilson.

Update: Meanwhile, my beloved Dodgers continue their tweaking with greaybeards. Aaron Harang is just about officially signed now. All of these bit players are useful (and trading Dana Eveland for prospects is solid), but we really need to get our ownership situation in order so that we can do some more serious things. Thankfully, we have signed Matt Kemp to a mega-extension, and that of course is an excellent start to righting the ship. Anyway, we have two of the best players in the Majors in Kemp and Clayton Kershaw, and hopefully the minor tweaks will help enough in the short term to really get our butts in gear once the ownership situation is fixed.