Tuesday, March 13, 2007

2007 ME 72 contest

The 2007 ME 72 engineering design contest was held in Beckman Auditorium today. I know one of the participants a little bit but this is among the weakest senses of "knowing" possible, so I was there to see carnage and root for Dr. Placebo.

I hadn't seen the ME 72 contest since 1998, so it was really nice to watch it again. The carnage was better than in most years I witnessed, though Dr. Placebo was craptacular -- the guy controlling it could never even get it to move. (That didn't stop it from winning one round.) The last time the contest was run publicly was in 2003 (though apparently it was still done privately; the competitions were just less photogenic or something), so the crowd wasn't used to rooting for Dr. Placebo from the beginning and the auditorium wasn't completely filled as it used to be. By the end, however, people had started rooting for the Placebo a lot, so people picked up the proper etiquette pretty quickly.

Monday, March 12, 2007

UNIX error jokes

Courtesy Maria King (opera singer extraordinaire and nerd groupie), you can find these jokes here.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

What happens in Estes Park stays in Estes Park

Tomorrow morning, I have a flight to Denver (I know, right when the March Meeting is ending) followed by ground transportation to Estes Park, Colorado. I will be attending the wedding of Lloydies Sam Bench '01 and Matt Reese '01 and a lot of Techers I haven't seen in many years (and some friends I have seen more recently than that) will be there. It should be very fun.

The timing of the wedding was purposely aligned with the end of the March Meeting in order to maximize the number of physicists attending it. (Matt is a physicist and was responsible in part for the Lloydie-Scurve dinner at last year's March Meeting becoming a Lloydie-Scurve-Yalee [how does one spell Yalee?] dinner.) In fact, the first formal e-mail announcement was titled something like "March Meeting and wedding" and was timed to be just before the abstract submission deadline for the March Meeting (and included a reminder about that). It was really quite classy.

There is a small chance I'll run into one of my friends at the airport (given the relative timing of my flight in and her flight out), though I don't know about relative airlines, so I'm guessing that won't happen. I'll hazard a guess, however, that I will see some meeting attendees that I know who are not people attending the wedding. It's just a matter of whom.

I almost forgot: this will be my first flight in which I am not taking a laptop with me since March 1998, when I was visiting grad schools.

How about that "2005" presidential election?

Here is a paper just posted to the arXiv:

Paper: physics/0703095
Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2007 11:45:47 GMT (178kb)

Title: From 2000 Bush-Gore to 2006 Italian elections: Voting at fifty-fifty and
the Contrarian Effect
Authors: Serge Galam
Categories: physics.soc-ph
Comments: 17 pages, 8 figures
Subj-class: Physics and Society
\\
A sociophysical model for opinion dynamics is shown to embody a series of
recent western hung national votes all set at the unexpected and very
improbable edge of a fifty-fifty score. It started with the Bush-Gore 2000
American presidential election, followed by the 2002 Stoiber-Schr\H{o}der, then
the 2005 Schr\H{o}der-Merkel German elections, and finally the 2006
Prodi-Berlusconi Italian elections. In each case, the country was facing
drastic choices, the running competing parties were advocating very different
programs and millions of voters were involved. Moreover, polls were given a
substantial margin for the predicted winner. While all these events were
perceived as accidental and isolated, our model suggests that indeed they are
deterministic and obey to one single universal phenomena associated to the
effect of contrarian behavior on the dynamics of opinion forming. The not hung
Bush-Kerry 2005 presidential election is shown to belong to the same universal
frame. To conclude, the existence of contrarians hints at the repetition of
hung elections in the near future.
\\ ( http://arXiv.org/abs/physics/0703095 , 178kb)


While I'm on the subject of recent arXiv papers, try this one on for size:

Paper: physics/0703091
Date: Thu, 8 Mar 2007 06:40:20 GMT (59kb)

Title: Scientific inquiry in modern art
Authors: M.V. Simkin
Categories: physics.soc-ph
Subj-class: Physics and Society
\\
I report the results of the test, where the takers had to tell true
masterpieces of abstract art from the fakes, produced by myself. Every picture
can be described by the fraction of the test takers, who selected it as a
masterpiece. When judged by this metric, the pictures show no stratification
between masterpieces and fakes, suggesting that they are of about the same
quality.
\\ ( http://arXiv.org/abs/physics/0703091 , 59kb)

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

"Awesome" test answers

Courtesy my fellow Norman (i.e., Beverly High alum) Maria King, I posted some "awesome" test answers. I especially like the one with the "expansion."

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Blessing in disguise

Yesterday, I bought a new battery (and film) for my camera at Target. I stupidly bought the wrong kind of battery (and I even-more-stupidly opened it because I didn't anticipate a problem and then found that it was too big the hole where it's supposed to go), so I went back to Target this morning to buy another battery (with my $6 completely down the drain). And I checked just in case (even though I checked yesterday as well) and they had Wiis there! Dude! Buying the wrong battery was fortuitious (though opening it was still stupid). I also bought a carrying case and an extra controller. They had enough controllers for me to get my fill, but I decided that for more than two players, people can bring them for now. (And then I went Wii, Wii, Wiiiiiiiiii all the way home.) Maybe I'll see some controllers and Amazon, and then I'll be able to use my remaining gift certificates.



Target did not have any nunchuks, so one question I have is whether Zelda needs those. I want to play Zelda tonight.

I'll set up my Wii later this evening.

A possible reason for the SUV incident?

I received an interesting e-mail this morning with the following text:

i saw your blog after finding your paper on ranking sports teams with a
markov chain. (that is a sortuh interesting topic but after 5 minutes on
your paper i decided to google elsewhere to see if there is anything a
little shorter; there are thousands of these most of which appear to be
rewrites, but then the paper on n-th excited state of the h-atom may in a
sense be a rewrite of the paper on the n-1st.). there does not appear to
be a good source on markov chains in fact (either they are for elementary
school or they immediately turn into a 'theorem/proof' stream of
consiousness). of course, googling for the answer is lazy in a sense, or a
'sociological' study. (who thinks what?)

i saw your post on the la times article, and was going to comment but
forgot my google password. i would just say that it seems to me that
situation (good or bad) is partly due to the fact that people at cal tech
spend alot of time writing papers like yours. in a sense, it may be as
lazy as buying an suv or trashing one---there may be better time allocations
(but i guess everyone is an ant following a pherenome trail). it also
suggests that 'genius' may not be all its cooked up to be.
i guess the alternative would be to say, teach calculus outside of
caltech and prison. (or markov chains). but, as opposed to laziness, that
might be too difficult a problem to solve. or, maybe one could see if your
algorithm works for ranking american idol candidates.



So, I guess the conclusion is that if we want to avoid more "ecoterrorism" incidents, people at Caltech should stop spending so much time writing esoteric scientific articles.

Any good ideas for what I should do with my life now?

Friday, March 02, 2007

Oscar Wrap-up (2007)

A few weeks ago, I offered some fearless predictions about this year's Oscars. Let's see how I did. (In 2006, I might as well have guess completely randomly. I know -- it's such a shock.)

Best Actor: Forest Whitaker (Me: Will Smith)

Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin (Me: Arkin). Conclusion: The Academy got this one right! (Arkin deserved this award beyond belief.)

Best Actress: Helen Mirren (Me: Meyrl Streep). Conclusion: Meryl got robbed!

Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson (Me: Abigail Breslin)

Best Animated Film: Happy Feet (Me: Cars). This is total crap. And why weren't A Scanner Darkly and Flushed Away nomited. Criminal.

Best Art Direction: Pan's Labyrinth (Me: Pan's Labyrinth). Duh.

Best Cinematography: Pan's Labyrinth (Me: Pan's Labyrinth). Even more duh.

Best Costume Design: Marie Antoinette (Me: Marie Antoinette). Wow, three in a row. By the way, Marie got my pick for who would win. In my opinion, Curse of the Golden Flower should have won, but I was voting with my ... er ... "heart" rather than my mind as far as what I felt should have gotten the nod. Any, this is a victory as far as my predictions go.

Best Directing: The Departed (Me: United 93). In my defense, I made an arbirtrary prediction before I saw any of these films. Now that I've actually seen The Departed...

Best Documentary: An Inconvenient Truth (Me: An Inconvenient Truth). Everybody saw this one coming from a mile away. At least we now know Al Gore can win something. I heard he's keeping his statue in a lockbox.

Best Short Documentary: The Blood of Yinzhou District (Me: Yingzhou). I pulled this one out of my ass and picked a winner (as it were).

Best Film Editing: The Departed (Me: United 93). Once again, had I actually seen The Departed at the time I made these predictions...

Best Foreign Language Film: The Lives of Others (Me: Pan's Labyrinth).

Best Makeup: Pan's Labyrinth (Me: Pan's Labyrinth).

Best Musical Score: Babel (Me: Pan's Labyrinth).

Best Original Song: Melissa Etheridge, "I Need to Wake Up", An Inconvenient Truth. (Me: Randy Newman, "Our Town", Cars). When is the last time a documentary had the best original song? Back in the day, the best song almost always came from a Disney film, but the times they are achangin'.

Best Picture: The Departed (Me: Little Miss Sunshine). Oops. (Note that I was predicting which one would win. My favorite films weren't even nominated for this award.)

Best Animated Short Picture: The Danish Poet (Me: Time For Nuts).

Best Live Action Short Film: West Bank Story (Me: West Bank Story). Dig the title and dig it well.

Best Sound Editing: Letters from Iwo Jima (Me: Iwo Jima). I pulled another one out of my ass.

Best Sound Mixing: Dreamgirls (Me: Dreamgirls).

Best Visual Effects: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest (Me: Pirates). Dude, another three in a row.

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Departed (Me: Notes on a Scandal).

Best Original Screenplay: Little Miss Sunshine (Me: Little Miss Sunshine).


OK, so how did I do this year? I got 12 right out of 24. Last year, I only got 8 right out of 24. The difference is a combination or randomness, a couple of obvious choices, and the fact that I saw more nominated films this year than last year and I made fewer wild guesses as a result. Actually, batting .500 in predicting Oscars (given the nominees) is actually pretty decent.

Georgia Tech math account: officially dead

As of today (or possibly yesterday, which is the day I was told this would happen), my Georgia Tech math department account is now officially dead. Some people may still try e-mailing me there, but I won't get any of those messages any more. Also, all the nice pictures I had posted there are now no longer posted (and the number of hits on my websites has concomitantly gone down -- of course, the hits I get now have a much higher probability of being academic ones).

Now, I'm going to remove the links to those pages that I have on my Caltech website. I might repost some of this stuff eventually, but I'm not going to bother until after I flee to England.

I did repost the picture of me in the giant flower because I wanted a picture to show up on blogger. (The sudden absence of this picture from my blogger profile is how I realized the axe had officially fallen.)

I moved a couple things over to my Caltech account (such as my introduction to LaTeX, which a lot of people actually use), but because of the very limited space I have (and the fact that I use most of it already), older papers will just have to not be available from my website until I move to Oxford and have more room to post them. Moreover, my 'research' webpage was well-organized when I first wrote it, but it's gained a lot of entropy as I have advised more students, undertaken more projects, and written more papers. It needs to be completely rewritten (and my site needs to be reorganized as well), though because I'm a lame duck at the moment, I'm just going to leave my ITS site as is and start from scratch when I move to Oxford. (I really don't want to spend the time to do this at the moment, so I'll do this as part of setting up the OCD group webpage.)

I've had it with those SOBs in their SUVs.

So, I read an extremely interesting article this evening while I was at Peet's. I even clipped it out to show to Lemming, but he saved me the trouble by finding the article independently and posting it.

The article is about the former Caltech physics grad turkey who played a role in blowing up some SUVs a few years back. It discusses both the incident and his life in prison. I concur with Lemming and strongly encourage you to read this.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

The Popsicle Twins

Last night, I was watching a Gameshow network show about Chuck Barris (about whom the excellent movie Confessions of a Dangerous Mind was made) and was reminded of the infamous Popsicle Twin act that I have heard may have played a part in helping get The Gong Show pulled off the air. (Look up "controversial acts" in the wikipedia entry for The Gong Show.)

In looking at the wikipedia entry, I see that some of the legitimate talent that appeared on The Gong Show was The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo, an awesome (!!!!!) musical band later known by a slightly shorter name, Paul Reubens, who usually goes under a somewhat different stage name ("Tell them 'Large Marge' sent you."), RuPaul, and Michael Winslow. (Actually, I vaguely remember seeing a clip with Michael Winslow on that show.)

Monday, February 26, 2007

The Cult of Genius

Here is Gazebo's post about the cult of genius.

It links to some excellent comments in Cosmic Variance and Uncertain Principles about the Cult of Genius in physics and the messages that we should be giving to our students.

I have had a number of discussions over the years with friends, students, and colleagues about stuff like this because this really is something that discourages people to continue in science. Just who the fuck came up with the idea that you have to be a genius to be a successful physicist (or any kind of scientist, for that matter) because that's dead wrong. It helps to be smart -- don't get me wrong -- but I have seen way too many students turn away from science because they are wrongly led to believe this. And it's a bloody shame.

It's easy to see this among undergrads at Caltech. We all know plenty of people who were brilliant but got turned off for one reason or another, and you certainly shouldn't go away from science if/when you find out you're not a genius. Almost all of us find this out at some point because few people actually are geniuses, and coming to grips with this can be very difficult. I know a lot of people at Tech who couldn't do this or needed many years to do it. (A couple of the smartest people I have ever met flamed out of Tech. They are easily on par in terms of "pure intelligence" with numerous people I've met who have tenure-track jobs at the best schools in the world.)

Now, it would be nice if New York Times didn't portray subjects like string theory which tend to have very high barriers to entry as the pinnacle of human achievement -- personally, I greatly prefer nonlinear dynamics and complex systems -- but let's be realistic: newspapers are going to continue glorifying bullshit like that, so what do we do as teachers? Well, when I screw up, I let my students know. Admitting mistakes -- what a concept! Part of the reason I do this is that I know they will struggle sometimes (maybe a lot), and I want them to know that I still struggle too. I've been "successful" and have a great job waiting for me, but that doesn't mean that I didn't fuck up pretty majorly on occasion and that some of those occasions are pretty damned recent. And of course that I still make tons of mistakes. It's important to convey the idea that you can make mistakes and still get extremely far. These scientists who have poles up their asses and want their students to think that they're impervious to fallacies aren't helping anybody.

In fact, one of the most important things I learned in grad school was that all these so-called geniuses with stuff named after them aren't any better than I am. (OK, there are a few freaks who are, but I'm a theorist and get to drop people on the extreme of the distribution.) They struggled just like I did. And I want my students to know that I struggled and that I continue to struggle. It's not a cake-walk for any but an exceedingly small number of people, so why are we giving the very damaging impression that it is.

So, if you're a student of mine (and I know some of you read my blog on occasion), please read the content in the links above. I'm afraid I wasn't overly coherent in this post, but there are some important issues here. This is a marathon, not a sprint. The most important thing you can do is work your ass off.

Grand Unification Theory (sort of)

Check out the first sentence in the abstract of this recently-posted arxiv paper:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
\\
Paper: cond-mat/0702584
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2007 05:34:14 GMT (270kb)

Title: Modelling of self-driven particles: foraging ants and pedestrians
Authors: Katsuhiro Nishinari, Ken Sugawara, Toshiya Kazama, Andreas
Schadschneider, Debashish Chowdhury
Categories: cond-mat.stat-mech
Comments: 15 pages, 11 Postscript figures, uses elsart.cls
Subj-class: Statistical Mechanics
Journal-ref: Physica A vol.372 (2006) pp.132-141
\\
Models for the behavior of ants and pedestrians are studied in an unified way
in this paper. Each ant follows pheromone put by preceding ants, hence creating
a trail on the ground, while pedestrians also try to follow others in a crowd
for efficient and safe walking. These following behaviors are incorporated in
our stochastic models by using only local update rules for computational
efficiency. It is demonstrated that the ant trail model shows an unusual
non-monotonic dependence of the average speed of the ants on their density,
which can be well analyzed by the zero-range process. We also show that this
anomalous behavior is clearly observed in an experiment of multiple robots.
Next, the relation between the ant trail model and the floor field model for
studying evacuation dynamics of pedestrians is discussed. The latter is
regarded as a two-dimensional generalization of the ant trail model, where the
pheromone is replaced by footprints.
\\ ( http://arXiv.org/abs/cond-mat/0702584 , 270kb)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maybe the sequel will be about glomming? Flocking and swarming are pretty hot topics these days...

Overheard in Firestone

The following was uttered by a grad turkey a few minutes after noon today as we were trying to figure out if Tom Hou would show up to lecture today's ACM 210a make-up class:

"Sheila's probably gone too, which means we have no hope of finding anyone."


By the way, learning about make-up is extremely applied. It helps with the level-set method as well.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

New issue of SIAM Review + Congrats!

I was talking to Zifnab at lunch on Thursday (am I remembering the day correctly?) and I asked him when his article was officially coming out (of the closet, of course). The very next day, I received my new issue of SIAM Review in the mail, and his article is contained therein and given some major highlights in the section of the journal containing it.

The editor of the relevant section had a lot of complimentary things to say about the article. (Z: Do you want to add anything to the editor's description?)

I also noticed something else interesting in this issue of SIREV -- namely, that the article The Mathematics of Phylogenomics (by Lior Pachter '94 and Bernd Sturmfels) includes Hitchhiker's Guide in the bibliography. So I decided to look through the article and figure out why, and the answer is pretty interesting:

Conjecture 1 (the “Meaning of Life”). The sequence of 42 bases
(2.1) TTTAATTGAAAGAAGTTAATTGAATGAAAATGATCAACTAAG
was present in the genome of the ancestor of all vertebrates, and it has been completely
conserved to the present time (i.e., none of the bases have been mutated, nor have there
been any insertions or deletions).


Alert readers have indubitably already figured out the connection by now, but let me nevertheless duplicate a few more words from the article:

In 2003, the sequence (2.1) appeared to be the longest completely conserved
sequence among the vertebrates. We were amused to find that its length was 42.
In light of [1], it was decided to name this DNA sequence “The Meaning of Life.”


I approve!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Conservapedia

Here is the straight line; you provide the joke:

Gazebo reports on a project called Conservapedia, which is supposed to be the Conservatives' answer to the "liberally-biased" Wikipedia.

You can read what Gazebo (and the people to whom he linked) wrote about this. I think the only reaction I want to add is Sighhhhhhhhhhhh....

There's got to be a good joke to go with this...

Or maybe Gazebo can write another comic strip for this one.

The term of the day is "ZZ topology". OK, it's not a real term, but in my current tired state, I noticed an article whose first two words are "Z2 topological" (the e-mail was in plain text, so the latex formatting wasn't present) and I misread it as "ZZ topological".

So, what would a ZZ topology look like? :)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Thesis title of the day

Here's a real winner: "Detection of Single Quantized Vortex Lines in Rotating HeII" (by Richard Packard, 1969)

When I first read this, I thought "He II" was "Hell". I didn't know that Hell could rotate.

Gazebo should be familiar with the author, and I actually have a good scientific reason to be at his web page. (I'm trying to look up some results of his from the 80s.)

Update: Inspired by this post, Gazebo made a Dinosaur Comic about "Rotating Hell". I approve!

Another quote

This comes from the always amusing Maciej Zworski, who was giving a talk today in the local mathematical physics meeting.

Zworski's comment was: "It is a theorem from algebraic geometry that all log-log plots look like a straight line."

This is, of course, very close to my heart because of all the power law nonsense I see in the networks literature.

Overheard at Lunch

"I'm going to get the implants in Romania because it's cheaper there." -- Catalin Turc

Quote of the Day (revised)

OK, I need to replace my other so-called quote of the day

I was just talking to one of my friends on the phone. He uttered the immortal phrase, "If I had a pocket protector and breasts, I would have been more likely to see you by now."

He was referring to the fact that I haven't been as available recently during the current spike in editing I've had. And in all honesty, I don't think I can particularly refute his statement.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Quote of the Day

Today's quote comes from me during a meeting I was having with a couple of my collaborators: "I don't give a shit if people think I'm smart. I have a job." This was unpremeditated and while not necessarily tactless per se, I think it's fair to classify that under the more general rubric of 'honest to a fault' that is what I really follow. Even more accurately, my filters didn't work again. (You know, the ones that pretty much never work except to point out that I probably shouldn't have said what I just uttered.)

And yes, I had a two-hour meeting on a holiday... because we all have lives. I put in a full work day at the office today, and even set my alarm for 9 am so that I wouldn't miss a seminar I wanted to see. (That's right, the first day of a mathematical physics meeting transpired on campus today... because those people all have lives as well.) When I was getting ready in the morning, I played my stereo loudly as usual, except unlike most mornings, other people were actually trying to sleep at the time and that hadn't occurred to me. [Ordinarily, I'll get up late enough during a weekday that others will already be gone or at least not trying to sleep in and I'll consciously not do this if I get up earlier. On a weekend, I'll typically get up late enough that this won't be an issue.] So because of my little screw-up, the landlady fielded complaints that were passed on to me. Naturally, I feel like an ass because all I could do was sheepishly apologize for being a dumbass. I can't take back the fact that I bothered people. Sigh...

Now I'm working on my book a bit. I should finish my first pass of the stories from this round of editing and then I can go back to the beginning of the loop and take a look at my coauthors adjustments to my text. We're gradually approaching the end of the line. The text should be in the hands of the layout person reasonably soon. Then we'll get page proofs, put out any new fires that arise, and send this off to the printers and discuss things like some of the proceeds going to a prank fund and so on.

Oh, and it looks like I may be writing up another paper pretty soon. Based on the discussion today, it looks like we are nearing the point that we have a coherent story to tell. Though I wished my parts had worked out better. I did get a couple things to work, but I keep feeling guilty and asking to be put farther down the author list to a spot that I feel is more appropriate.

Update: This quote of the day has been officially replaced by something one of my friends subsequently said.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

iTunes Prose (random 11)

In a twist on the usual random music selections from iTunes to determine fortunes, New Year's resolutions, and so on, I offer the following alternative. This idea dawned during an IM conversation I was having with Lemming during which I was quoting even more song lyrics than usual.

I loaded up iTunes, played the first 11 songs (it was going to be 10, but one of the songs didn't have any lyrics), took some lines from the songs (and the title of the song that didn't have any lyrics), and composed a story using them. I was originally going to make a poem, but I decided that prose would be a lot easier.

Here is the story. I actually kind of like it, especially given the constraints under which I was working. I hope you enjoy it.

Now, let's play a game. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to figure out the identity of those 11 songs (artist and title) and which lines go with which for the 10 that have lyrics.

Mad props go out to Lemming for his major role in coming up with this idea.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Download rankings (Chaos), 12/06

One of my articles, Community structure in the U.S. House of Representatives, was the 19th most downloaded article in the journal Chaos in December 2006 even though it was not posted until December 15th. That's not bad.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Today's fortune

My fortune cookie dissed me today: "You have given some thought to a different life style."

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Tales from the arXiv: Best. Title. Ever.

The following paper just got posted on the arXiv. It has the best title ever.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
\\
Paper: cond-mat/0702338
Date: Wed, 14 Feb 2007 16:11:37 GMT (231kb)

Title: Reply to Comment
Authors: Lu Li, Yayu Wang, M. J. Naughton and N. P. Ong
Categories: cond-mat.supr-con cond-mat.str-el
Comments: 1 page, 1 figure, submitted to PRL
Subj-class: Superconductivity; Strongly Correlated Electrons
\\
Our experiments \cite{Wang05,Li05,Wang06} persuade us that the Meissner
transition at $T_c$ in hole-doped cuprates is driven by the loss of long-range
phase coherence caused by singular phase fluctuations, a scenario at odds with
the mean-field (MF), Gaussian Ginzburg Landau (GGL) approach advocated by Cabo,
Mosquiera and Vidal \cite{Cabo}.
\\ ( http://arXiv.org/abs/cond-mat/0702338 , 231kb)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------


In fact, the paper itself has this title. It isn't just a typo!


This has me thinking that perhaps I should call my next paper, "To Hell with you Assholes!"

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

It's apparently "flaming red month"

Here is the straight line: I received an email from some sort of association of local Cornell alums. Apparently, this month is flaming red and we're supposed to celebrate it.

You provide the joke.

(Context: red is the Cornell color. 'Go Big Red' is actually not just what Fleming uses --- it's also what Cornell uses.)

Monday, February 12, 2007

Overheard in ACM 210a

In ACM 210a today, Professor Tom Hou said, "You don't want to jump the shock."

This is my quote of the day, and it will require some unraveling to convey the full significance.

First of all, it immediately made me think of the phrase jump the shark, an appreciation of which is required to fully enjoy the quote above. If you don't know what that phrase means -- and most of you should because I've discussed it on my blog before -- you owe it to yourself to take a look at the wikipedia entry on the other side of the link I provided.

The topic of the class is numerical methods for partial differential equations, and in the class of systems we're studying right now shocks are very common. When designing numerical schemes to deal with systems that can have this stuff, they typically have to be lower-order near the shock because if you're going to use nearby points for interpolation, you don't want points on both sides of the shock. That is, you don't want to jump the shock. Thus, Hou's comment (which was completely intentional) makes absolutely perfect sense scientifically. Moreover, he is as far as I can tell completely unaware of the term "jumping the shark," so it seems that he doesn't realize just how funny that comment is.

If I ever discuss the numerics of such systems in a talk, I am so going to use the picture of the Fonz jumping the shark on one of my slides. Maybe only one or two people in the audience will get the joke because it admittedly requires a reference leap, but it is bloody awesome!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

100,000th web site visit

My website received its 100,000th unique visitor today.*

Let me specify what I mean by "unique" here. It doesn't mean that 100,000 different IP addresses have visited my site, so (for example) if one IP address visited my site on two different days, that would count as 2 visits. However, if on one of those occasions, the visitor looked at 10 different pages, the 10 hits would constitute 1 unique visit.

I started using this counter while I was at Cornell, this is many years worth of visiting. I originally used a different counter when I made the first version of this web, and the 100,000 does not include any of those hits (which were counted somewhat differently).

Not that any of this matters...

Perverted by Physicists

I'm about to do a calculation in which I am going to subtract off an infinity. Every mathematical bone in my body is rebelling against the very idea of doing this. (It's justified physically but it still irks me.)

It is things like these that occasionally remind me that -- despite my research interests, lack of theorem-proof style, present affiliation, and so on -- in my body beats the heart of a mathematician. (I ripped it out of him, but that's a story for another time.)

Quote of the Day

Here is a comment I just wrote in an e-mail to one of my co-authors regarding a suggested grammatical change that a journal editor just made:

"While he is technically grammatically correct and we're not (...), the phrasing the editor suggested is retarded."


On a similar note, "His theory is retarded" is the new "Champ Stamp".

Friday, February 09, 2007

Happy birthday to Jing!

She turned 100000 today. I become prime (age 11111) again tomorrow.

The celebration is tomorrow. We'll be eating meat---lots of it.


Update: Apparently, Jing was born on the 8th rather than the 9th. I wonder if she corrected me last year too? I wonder if this misconception was caused by the fact that Ziyi Zhang was born on February 9th? Also, Jing came down with the flu and won't be making it, so I'll just have to eat extra meat to make up for her absence. (My standard way of dealing with disappointment is to eat extra meat.)

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Tales from the arXiv: Tongue-Twister Edition

Here's an abstract that just got posted to the arXiv. Check out the title...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
\\
Paper: physics/0702069
Date: Thu, 8 Feb 2007 14:02:00 GMT (8kb)

Title: Would Bohr be born if Bohm were born before Born?
Authors: H. Nikolic
Categories: physics.soc-ph physics.hist-ph
Comments: 7 pages
Subj-class: Physics and Society; History of Physics
\\
I discuss a hypothetical historical context in which a Bohm-like deterministic interpretation of the Schrodinger equation could have been proposed before the Born probabilistic interpretation and argue that in such a context the Copenhagen (Bohr) interpretation would probably have never achieved great popularity among physicists.
\\ ( http://arXiv.org/abs/physics/0702069 , 8kb)
%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-%-
%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%--%%


And, pray tell, just how does that keep the hot side hot and the cold side cold?

Silly math pun

It's not quite a bad cow pun, but I came up with a line that I hope to eventually have the opportunity to use: "That is orthogonal to the normal situation." Cue the rim shot.

New iPod

Well, the inevitable happened: My iPod, which I earlier reported as terminal, showed the sad face icon again this morning and this time persisted in displaying that when I went to the Apple Store. My Applecare protection plan was still active, so I was able to swap it for a new version of the same model for free.

My first iPod, which I still have even though its battery life has decayed to bubkes, is known as "Hoopak". In Dragonlance, a hoopak is the weapon of choice for kender (never leave home without it!), so it's quite an apt name for one of my iPods.

My second (just replaced) iPod is called "Chotchke". This refers to the Yiddish term for 'small item' (which is not a fully accurate translation). You'll often see it used as a synonym for "swag".

In naming my third iPod, I decided to simultaneously refer to the D & D weapon theme used for my first iPod and to construct a pun with respect to the second one. In Dark Sun, thri-kreen commonly use a weapon called a "chatkcha", which is pronounced in the same manner as chotchke. I thus decided to name my new iPod "Gythka", which is another weapon of choice among thri-kreen.

Ah, the subtleties of harddrive naming...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Braaaaaaains: The real way to celebrate a birthday

I'm referring, of course, to zombies.

There is a zombie mob in San Fransisco planned for my birthday:

WHERE & WHEN
* Justin Herman Plaza nearest Embarcadero BART
* Meet up at noon on February 10th. (hang 'em high).
* Rain date (February 17th)
* Will Critical Ghast elsewhere at 12:30.


If you want to see information pictures about past zombie mobs go to eatbrains.com.

I need to bring this tradition to Oxford...

Monday, February 05, 2007

To celebrate or not to celebrate?

OK, so this is not exactly Hamlet, but I am debating whether or not I should bother celebrating my birthday this year. For me, "celebration" has always meant doing something with my friends.

It's on February 10th. (If I celebrate, it won't necessarily be on that day---if for no other reason than because somebody I want to come may not be in town that day.) I'll turn 31, which is a prime number. It's very important to keep track of the number-theoretic properties of one's age. (For example, I was perfect when I was 28, but so was everybody else.)

If I celebrate---and I'm vacillating back and forth on whether I should bother---it will probably take the form of dinner at a fancy restaurant. I've narrowed that down to Gyu Kaku or the new Brazillian place at the Paseo.

Bah... I am still having bouts of grumpiness. If it weren't for that, I doubt I'd be having much of an internal debate.

Anyway, you can vote here and maybe then I can find out who all the lurkers are. (I know you're out there.) Just think of it like a Hamlet reality show in which you're voting whether or not Hamlet should commit suicide---not to display my occasionally morbid sense of humor or anything. :)

Friday, February 02, 2007

Ratemyprofessor.com

A couple of years ago, two of my research students told me about RateMyProfessors.com, which is a great resource to see which of my colleagues were totally slammed by anonymous students, given chili peppers as a joke (which happens pretty frequently, and it's pretty funny to see how gets them), and so on.

Here are the ratings for Georgia Tech's math department. (Thankfully, nobody put me up there.)

Here is Georgia Tech's physics department.

Here is Caltech.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Correlations between geography and hair

I recently realized that the office assignments among postdocs in Caltech's theoretical condensed matter physics group were arranged by hair.

Room 131 consists entirely of postdocs who are going seriously bald, whereas Room 130 consists entirely of postdocs with luxuriously flowing manes.

Coincidence? I think not.

Customer of the Week

By executive fiat, I have been chosen as Peet's customer of the week for next week, which means free coffee for me.

Did any of you see that episode of Seinfeld in which Kramer could get free coffee from a certain place? Stay tuned...

'C' is for Carrot

I am still having trouble getting the code for my granular medium problem to work. (As Lemming might say, "I'm doing it wrong!".)

Today, I was given a major carrot. (It wasn't given for that purpose, but it's a Hell of a carrot.) There is a conference in Hawaii this summer that my experimental collaborator is attending and assuming I can coauthor something with her by then (which, naturally requires the code to work) to be presented at the conference and which would go into the conference proceedings, she said she would pay for me to go there with money from her start-up package from Caltech. (I don't have any travel funds left from my postdoc.)

This is the work on solitary wave progation through granular media that I have mentioned to some of you at various points.

Now more than ever, I really need to get this code to work...

Ouch!

During lunch today, I accidently squeezed lemon juice on a paper cut. Damnit!

Did I mention how impressive I am?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Quote of the Day

The quote of the day comes from ESPN.com columnist Rob Neyer:

"Most spectacular single-season artistic achievement? That came in 1978, when all four members of Kiss released solo albums on the same day, to universal critical and commercial acclaim."

Of course, although the quote is awesome and provides a catchy lead-in, it doesn't really have much to do with the article that contains it.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Back from Berkeley

I came back last night. I'm still kind of tired, and I'll need to do a little work tonight for my book and in reading the draft of a SURF proposal. I finished the recommendation letters I needed to do imminently, so tomorrow I'll get back to dealing with something else with my book (that I meant to do before finding out that I needed to go through the edited text cover to cover to find all the things I wanted to change back or otherwise alter).

So, as Gazebo's flickr post for today indicates, one of the things I did up in Berkeley was develop my Guitar Hero skills. I had previously played either one or two songs on easy in Guitar Hero I -- I Love Rock & Roll (which I know very well) and some other song I can't remember. Cooperative Guitar Hero II was the weapon of choice on this occasion. After figuring out the controls (I was confused about them my first couple games), I started off by getting about 77 % success on level 1 songs and I ended up by getting low to mid 90s on all tiers, with a 89 % victory on Freebird. Then I graduated to medium and in my first game got only 57 % on a song I know really well. After that, I got 86%, 85%, and 83% on two level songs and one level one song (in that order), so that's pretty much my current level after a few hours of practice. Not spectacular by any means, but definitely far above where I started. I played in acoustic mode the entire time and as you can see in the picture, I stared down in the general direction of the floor in the best grune tradition.

On Sunday, while I was waiting for my plane at the Oakland airport, I ran into Meredith Alden '01, who I hadn't seen in a long time and with whom I hadn't kept in touch. The long-lost Kaon is now living in Olympia, WA and just got married in November.

Today, I played ping pong for the first time in 2 months with a pre-arranged sparring partner who I managed to pelt only a few times. (It was not on purpose, despite accusations to the contrary.) My foot is still a little sore, but I'm pretty much better now. If you asked me a week ago, I would not have expected to play today. I think my backhand loop got a little better, which is good because I really need my backhand to get stronger.

Also, I confirmed with Wei that the Thursday 9-11 pm slot had been the slot for the advanced class for the entire history of the course, so my prior confusion on the change for this term certainly had a lot of data behind it.

Student Evaluations

Here is a new study on student evaluations.

The basic conclusions: Students give higher scores to (1) profs who are easier and to (2) those who are good-looking.

Comment on conclusion 1: Duh.

Comment on conclusion 2: I suppose they correlated the evaluations with the chili peppers on RateMyProfessor.com?



I actually got predominantly good evaluations on the classes I've taught, and I certainly wasn't easy. It must be because I'm charming or maybe even nice. [[Mason ducks under the thrown tomatoes.]]

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Killer Bunnies (and the Quest for the Magic Carrot)

I played one of my new games, Killer Bunnies (and the Quest for the Magic Carrot) with Gazebo and I enjoyed it quite a bit. The game is for 2-8 players, and I'm really looking forward to trying it with more players. It should be a lot more fun with several people. The game is a non-collectable expandable card game, and I definitely want to get the expansions, some cards of which are referenced in the cards I have.

I'm hoping to have a game night soon (hopefully next weekend).

New games + upcoming podcast

I browsed through Games of Berkeley today and bought a new frisbee and two new games: 25 Words or Less (which I had tried to find previously for a while but failed and didn't buy at Games of Berkeley on one previous occasion because I didn't want to add stuff to my luggage---then I couldn't even find it online for a couple of years before eventually forgetting about it) and Killer Bunnies and the Quest for the Magic Carrot. The latter seems to have a sense of humor very much along my lines, but we'll see when I play it. (Of course, this does mean I'm going to have another games night soon.) They had the Dunwich Horror expansion set and I briefly considered getting that, but I decided I was spending enough there for one day and I would rather get completely new stuff. (And this will take up some room in my suitcase...) They also had a new 80s edition of Trivial Pursuit, which would be very fun for me but I'm not currently surrounded by people who like to play Trivial Pursuit, so that didn't seem like a worthwhile purchase. I could have spent quite a bit longer in the story if I really wanted to be thorough: I didn't look through the entire stock of games carefully and I basically didn't look at the RPGs at all. Another time...

Gazebo and I were also last-minute guests on an episode of Berkeley Groks that was recorded today. I'll let you know when the podcast is available. (The podcast for each episode goes online right around when the episode airs.) To say our session needs heavy editing would be kind.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Six Degrees of Wikipedia

First of all, I am stealing this idea from Gazebo.

One of the things I study is real-world networks, and one of the major issues is how they are connected, which includes the even harder problem of how to navigate them when you don't know their structure. This field started with a brilliant sociology experiment by Stanley Milgram. Duncan Watts and Steve Strogatz were inspired by this experiment in their pioneering small world networks paper that appeared in Nature in 1998 (and was the subject of Duncan's Ph.D. thesis). This area of research has absolutely exploded since then, and I am one of the participants (though not one of the centrality players---though I do know some of the main people pretty well and have co-authored a couple papers with one of them and had another of them on my thesis committee), so I was obviously very excited to see Gazebo's blog entry. More recently, there was an e-mail version of Milgram's experiment (by Duncan Watts, Dodds, and I think one other person) and, of course, Jon Kleinberg recently won the Nevanlinna prize partly due to his research on network navigation.

As Gazebo writes, here are the rules:

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click the random article link in the sidebar.
3. Open a second random article in another tab.
4. Try to find a chain of links (as short as possible) starting from the first article that leads to the second.


This is exactly the problem of network navigation, with the wikipedia network as the graph one is trying to navigate between one randomly chosen node to another. As with the Milgram and Watts experiments, we are using local information, though with one advantage---we can work both forwards and backwards. (We can't necessarily use backward links, but we can use the information obtained on the end page, which is much more extensive information than the information about the target that was given in the Milgram and Watts experiments.)

Thus, assuming a path exists (which a priori need not be the case, though it clearly usually will be) we want to find one of the paths of minimal path length. This is a hard problem. :)

My starting point was (1) Yvonne_John_Lewis and my target page was (N) Smethwick (UK Parliament constituency). N refers to the fact that this is the N'th page, so I will need N - 1 hops to get there.

I first found a path for which N = 8, but if I were a little more careful, I could have found N = 7 (I'll explain below) and I bet a couple other shortcuts could be found.

Here's what I did (with reasoning included):


2. England (because Lewis is a UK singer and I need a UK parliament constituency)
3. Parliament of England (because I need a UK parliament constituency)

note: parliament of UK didn't seem to be there; that's the one I really wanted

4. Parliament of the UK (that's what I ideally would have done with 3 if the link were there)
5. British House of Commons (perhaps I could have gotten here right from England?)
6. List of Parliamentary Constituencies in the United Kingdom (ok, so this is presumably on this website)

the one I want is in the West Midlands; why in bloody Hell is this not shown on the list of the constituencies in the West Midlands that are tabulated on this website; it should be here!!!! (ok crap, I just checked on the wikipedia entry I want that this was abolished in the 1974 elections... fuck! I should have been working backwards!!!!!)

7. List of former United Kingdom Parliamentary constituencies
8. Smethwick, my goal, so N = 8


I subsequently found a link directly from (4) to (6), reducing things to N = 7. (I checked and there is currently a link from England to British House of Commons, which have gotten me to N = 6.)

Anyway, thanks Gazebo for a very cool time-waster!

"The Passion of the Cockroach"

The last talk of the workshop was a neuroscience/biomechics talk by Phil Holmes of Princeton University (one of the bigshots, by the way). The example of the day concerned cockroach locomotion, which has been studied extensively in the Berkeley laboratory of Bob Full.

I have seen Full speak oin various aspects of this topic a couple times -- he is a wonderful speaker! -- and there are a number of really awesome videos associated with this project.

I tried to find a video online relevant to this blog entry, but I could only find the old ones (and none of the really good old ones). Some of you might have heard me carry on about this series of projects before---I know I have mentioned the great videos of how roaches run over obstacles really well, can recover from perturbations like a small rocket being fired from a launcher on their back, etc.

OK, so whence my title? Well, one of the motivational videos for this talk showed a cockroach running along a treadmill with a thing on its back that looks like a cross. And the speaker casually, dryly referred to this video as "The Passion of the Cockroach." I approve!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Rib quanta

Gazebo and I went to a smokehouse for (very good!) food. I ordered beef ribs, which were available in three sizes: full rack, half rack, and 1/3 rack. I wasn't sure how many ribs would be included, so I asked about the 1/3 rack and was told that this consisted of one rib. This made me very confused, but I thought I probably wanted more than one, so I ordered the half rack and contemplated whether I would be getting 1.5 ribs. However, I got the expected number of 2 ribs. Presumably, the full rack consists of 4 ribs (are there even any creatures that only have 3 ribs in one rack?), but this quantization is really rather odd.

Oscar Nominations (2007)

Last year, I made some Oscar Award predictions after the nominations were released.

Well, the 2007 nominations have now been released so here is my fearless forecast of who should win and who will win. (I am suppressing italics and bold on the typesetting below because I am lazy.)


Best leading actor: Well, I haven't seen any of the films, so I have no opinion as to who should win. I will arbitrarily say that Will Smith (Pursuit of Happyness) will win.

Best supporting actor: Alan Arkin (Little Miss Sunshine) should win, at least among the nominees. Of course, why the Hell was Stanley Tucci (The Devil Wears Prada) not nominated? Arkin will win.

Best leading actress: Meryl Streep (The Devil Wears Prada) should win. (She was fantastic.) Penelope Cruz (Volver) will win.

Best supporting actress: Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine) could and should win.

Best animated feature: Well, I would vote for A Scanner Darkly if it were one of the choices. Of the choices, Cars will and should win. I wonder, however, why only three films were nominated. Flushed Away and Ice Age II should have been nominated. There were plenty of good options and no need to restrict to three choices (especially when it wasn't even the best three).

Best art direction: Pan's Labyrinth should and will win. (By the way, Pan's Labyrinth has gotten a lot of nominations for a foreign film, and they are well deserved! It didn't get as many as did Life is Beautiful -- which I really ought to see -- and Crouching Tiger, but it has done extremely well here.)

Best cinematography: Pan's Labyrinth should and will win. (The cinematography and art direction for this film were both exceptional.)

Best costume design: Well, Curse of the Golden Flower got nominated for this, so that's a clear winner. There's just no way any other 2006 film should have any chance of getting this Oscar. Nevertheless, I predict that Marie Antoinette will win.

Best directing: I didn't see any of these films, so I'll arbitraraily predict that United 93 will win because I think that films about 9-11 will get extra credit because of their subject matter. (I could write a whole diatribe about how that's a bunch of tripe, but I nevertheless think that this will happen.)

Best documentary feature: I didn't see any of these either, but An Inconvenient Truth is going win in a landslide. Hey, if Al Gore can't win the Presidency, he might as well win the Oscar. But then again, the Oscars could imitate the presidential elections and Jesus Camp might win because of Republican finagling.

Best documentary short: Like I have any fucking clue about this one... I didn't see any of these films, so I'm going to pull something out of my ass and predict that The Blood of Yingzhou District will win simply because it has 'blood' in the title.

Best film editing: I didn't see any of these films, but United 93 will win because it's about 9-11. Not to be cynical or anything...

Best foreign language film: This is a no brainer. Pan's Labyrinth will win, and Pan's Labyrinth should win. It's not close. I am surprised that Volver wasn't nominated, as it received a lot of hype.

Best make-up: Pan's Labyrinth will and should win. (Here, I noticed the seemingly strange nomination of Click. I didn't see the film, so maybe there's a good reason for this, but it seems weird on the surface.)

Best musical score: The only film I saw among the nominees is Pan's Labyrinth, but it's score didn't strike me as memorable. So I have no idea what film should win. I'll predict arbitrarily that Babel will win.

Best music (song): Well, the only thing I saw here was Cars. Three of the nominees are from Dreamgirls and the last is from An Inconvenient Truth (that's kind of weird). I'm going to predict that "Our Town" from Cars will win just because Randy Newman is awesome.

Best picture: Well, I wouldn't rank any of the listed films among my best films for 2006. I already discussed that extensively in one of my 2006 wrap-up blog entries. I only saw one of the nominated films, Little Miss Sunshine, and that's the one that I think will win.

Best short film (animated): Well, I'm not sure which one will win. I'll say Lifted based on the pedigree of the people who produced it. I don't believe I saw any of these, so I can't say what should win---but my warm and fuzzy feelings go with No Time For Nuts simply because it stars Scratch from Ice Age. My preciousssssssssss....

Best short film (live action): I didn't see any of these. I'm going to say arbitrarily that West Bank Story will win because it's name amuses me.

Best sound editing: The only one of these I saw was Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest. I'll say that Letters from Iwo Jima will win, but I am just pulling this out of my ass.

Best sound mixing: I didn't see any of these either, but I'm going to go with Dreamgirls as the one I think will be victorious.

Best visual effects: I only saw Pirates II among these films. The other two are Poseiden and Superman Returns. I'll predict that Pirates II will win.

Best writing (adapted screenplay): My WTF award goes to the nomination of Borat in this category. Look, there are categories in which one could nominate that film (even though I didn't like it). In my opinion, this one simply isn't it. My prediction is that Notes on a Scandal will win this one.

Best writing (original screenplay): Now, here's something interesting. Pan's Labyrinth got nominated even though it's a foreign film. I find this extremely interesting. I think that Little Miss Sunshine will win, but I'm going to go with Pan's Labyrinth as the one that should win just because I liked that film so much. But, if there were any justice at all in the world, Snakes on a Plane would have received an Oscar nomination in this category.


One more thing: Will somebody please explain to me how Prairie Home Companion didn't get a single nomination? (at least among the categories listed on the web page I found ... maybe it got one in a trivial category?)

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Quote of the Day (Live blogging)

"I'm not being paid to think. I am paid to lecture." (Edriss Titi, currently lecturing, answering a question regarding whether he thinks a certain conjecture is true)

The question, "Do you think the conjecture is true?" came from Jonathan Mattingly.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Real-time research and other workshop shenanigans

My current conference has a ton of people I have met before---possibly close to 50% of the people there. I have not had a chance to talk to a good number of the people I know. (By the way, I was told by one of the workshop organizers without asking that the reason I didn't get funding to come was that because I'm in CA, they knew it would be pretty cheap for me, and they figured I'd come anyway if they didn't fund me. Clearly, they PS12ed the situation rather successfully...) There are also others I recognize because I've seen them speak before. Another person came up to me from having seen me at multiple previous conferences but never having met me. Several people have come up to me to congratulate me on my job, others came up to me because they saw my application and recognized my name (or were specifically told about me), and one person I know even came up to me to indicate he looked for my application but didn't find it (their advertisement came out after I got the offer from Oxford, so I was going to apply but never did). It's also gratifying that there are several people who have been looking out for me and want to help me. So, this workshop could have been quite the whorefest for me. As it stands, it's been good for the ego, which is much appreciated given my recent mood. (More people are aware of my work now as well, so hopefully that trend will continue. Of course, this conference does consist predominantly of people in my primary area, so this isn't exactly a random group of people.)

Thankfully, however, I have a job waiting for me, so I have been able to concentrate on research for a while instead of job applications. This is obviously much preferable!

OK, so what about the title of this entry... One of the reasons I came is that one of my main collaborators is here and discussing things in person for various projects would be extremely helpful. Indeed, it has been. The M.O. has been to meet about various things, e-mail questions to our collaborators during the talks, and then go through the responses together during various breaks from the talks. Rinse, wash, repeat. Several things have advanced considerably as a result and I actually wouldn't be too surprised if we can start writing one of them up in a couple weeks. (And this is one that should have an awesome chance to get into PRL.) Being in the same place speeds up progress immensely.

Live MathBlogging

Here's a brief comment.

I just saw something in a seminar that I've never seen before.

The medium for the present talk is an overhead projector. The speaker was presenting a brief example but didn't have a good picture to show people. He was struggling with describing what the system is, so the next speaker (sitting in the front row) handed him a slide of that to borrow and show. (The next speaker is going into more detail on that topic.)

You gotta' love mathematical relief pitching...

Monday, January 22, 2007

More adventures in google searching

Somebody got to my website today via a google search for "porno gynecology role play". Wow.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Like staring at the sun...

On December 30th, I saw Curse of the Golden Flower, my 4th foreign language film in a row (though it was in Chinese rather than Spanish, as were the previous three).

If I had only one word to describe it, the word to describe it, that word would be extravagant. If I had only two words, it would be breasts. Because, veritably, watching that movie was like staring at the sun. (There was a discussion of this analogy in one episode of Seinfeld. If I recall correctly, it led ultimately to the whole Greenpeace thred.) Anyway, if you watch the movie, you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.

While I indicate this movie as "martial arts" in the label, that was really only a small part of the film, which was really a drama. I liked it, but not as much as Hero (by the same guy) and especially not as much as House of Flying Daggers (also by the same guy). My understanding is that my ranking of House of Flying Daggers > Hero differs from the norm.

Anyway, Chow Yun Fat and Gong Li did very good jobs as warring emperor and empress, but the ninjas were awesome and former wife (mistress?) of Chow Yun Fat kicked some major ass and was just awesome. The action scenes in the movie were very good (especially the ones with the ninjas) and the scene in which true parentage was revealed was spectacular.

As is usual with this director (Yimou Zhang), color played a major role.

I enjoyed the film and I recommend it, but I saw Curse the day after Pan's Labyrinth, so it's not even the best film I saw that weekend. (And go see Pan's Labyrinth, goddamn it!)

What happens in Berkeley stays in Berkeley

Tomorrow I am flying to Berkeley for an MSRI workshop on dynamical systems, where I will be seeing famous people talk, networking with people I already know, giving a pseudo-Lebowitzian five-minute talk, and hammering out some things with one of my collaborators.

I'll be crashing with Gazebo, which he must be really eagerly anticipating at the moment given how grumpy I've been for the last week or so. As I found out at dinner today, some of my friends have been avoiding me lately (or at least not actively seeking me out), and I can't say that I blame them. I certainly haven't been my usual cheerful self lately.

Of course, I am currently dealing with a confluence of several things---my right foot (I hope somebody caught this allusion) and related things, food poisoning or stomach flu (and the only other person who got this from something at Interhouse was having lunch with me, so I can't decide between the two other than to speculate that the stomach flu would have lasted longer), projects whose components are taking longer to work than I was hoping, multiple collaborators on these projects who are applying pressure for these things to work (above and beyond the pressure that I apply to myself) and for me to give preference to my project with them, recruiting SURF students (though that's more of something that has been taking time away from catching up on work rather than something that directly causes stress... I have gotten some really good students, about whom I will brag more later), dealing with occasional annoyances in the work environment (that I am reacting to worse than I otherwise might because of my prevaling mood, so this whole business is cascading), and a bump in the road for my book (for which I am currently reading copy-edited versions of the text and compiling a list of changes, which mostly includes lots of things that need to be put back the way they were before...err, duplicating work I've already done multiple times). And, of course, my interactions related to the speedbump with the book have been helped by my mood. (There are lots of recent rants in my 'sent mail' folder...)

It's not that any one of these things is horrible or that they won't get resolved because I can already see how many of them will be resolved. (For instance, with the book, I know that some discussions and time investment will solve the problem, but I may well have to invest time I was going to use for catching up on work to make sure that we get this book out by this May, which we are really pushing to do.) Writing a book is really stressful.

Despite all this, I did have isolated moments of being social in the past week. And then I've just been really grumpy when around my friends. (I think apologies should go out to Lemming especially, as he has taken far more shit from me than he should have this past week.)

I suppose I should also include something positive in this entry. First, there was something really awesome at Robin's tonight, though I'll wait for Lemming to make his post and just link to that. Second, I was talking to an undergrad I know from ping pong last week (this would be the other person who got food poisoning) and apparently the fact that I actually care about undergrads really shines through. So at least I'm doing something right. It's always nice to hear things like that, especially during periods of time when I'm not having a fun time.

So, AG gets to host me at just the right time.

(By the way, I'm hoping that getting things off my chest with this blog entry will make me rant just a little bit less when I am interacting with people offline.)

Friday, January 19, 2007

Your Caltech dollars at work

We have spiffy new door labels. They cost $40 each (though they're really worth something like $5) and this type of label (though not at this price) makes sense for grad student and postdoc rooms because the resident names can be changed by printing new stuff out. Our old labels, which cost $30 (and are also only worth something like $5) can't be similarly replaced. For the sake of uniformity, the faculty were given those labels as well even though they still have the old ones. So, considering only the things that are completely redundant, we multiply this cost by the number of faculty in the building and come up with maybe $400.

Anyway, with Caltech's financial crunch from non-research endeavors, one would think we'd see more efficiency with things like this.

Overheard in Sloan Annex

"Sorry for going over your helmet."

I point this out only because I didn't instigate the quote.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

"Out of Context"

This is the title of my mix CD, which I finally got around to finishing up. The theme is purposely facetious.

The song order matters occasionally (because I twist the meaning of a couple songs just a bit), but sometimes it doesn't matter all that much. The earlier tracks need to be where they are, as do the final few tracks. Some of the ones in the middle need to be ordered in a particular way, but it's ok if there are songs in between them. Others just needed to be on the CD somewhere, I was sure where to put them, and didn't feel like spending much brain power trying t optimize where they should go.

I'll be bringing a copy with me to Berkeley---I'm burning the disk now as I write this. Others besides Gazebo should let me know if they want a copy.

I'll write more after people have listened to the CD. A couple of the modified interpretations are slightly evil.

My next CD will be either more sensitive or my own selection of messed-up/cool covers. I have plans for each.

Furstenberg and Smale receive 2007 Wolf prize

Harry Furstenberg and Stephen Smale have been awarded the 2007 Wolf Prize in mathematics, which is one of the big lifetime achievement awards.

These are two of the living legends in dynamical systems (among other fields), and I'll finally get to see Smale give a talk next week at MSRI. (Back when I was a senior at Tech, he once dissed me by e-mail, though I doubt he remembers that.)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Mice on Lake

I have noticed in the last couple days that a lot of mice have taken up residence in the greenery in front of the "Shops on Lake" sign. While passing that, one can see numerous mice scurrying back and forth across the sidewalk in that area. It's pretty amusing, though I imagine the city will be doing something about this soon.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

I've had it with these motherfucking strangers on this motherfucking train!

Back before this sort of title was hip, there was a film and a book called Strangers on a Train.

I just saw a play version of this tonight with fellow CPA theatre-goers.

It was good---mostly serious but with a few humerous moments thrown in (especially at the beginning). I could write more but I've been writing long entries lately, and I basically just wanted to make the gratuitous joke with the title and then go and do something else.

El Laberinto del Fauno

El Laberinto del Fauno (aka, Pan's Labyrinth) was the 3rd consecutive Spanish-language movie I saw and the 3rd of four consecutive foreign-language films.

It is extremely good, and I recommend that you see it. It isn't for the faint of heart, so there is that one reservation. But anybody who can handle an extremely heavy movie absolutely has to see this film. It is exceptional. The film, which takes place just after the Spanish civil war, is what can be called a "dark fantasy" even though it takes place amidst a historally realistic situation. (This is how the 'war' type of film gets included among drama, fantasy, thriller, and horror.)

I'm a little annoyed at how the title was translated (from an impersonal to a personal noun), but there are few other flaws. The movie is gorgeous, and the intermingling of fantasy and reality was done extremely well. The translating was done very well, so don't worry about that being a problem if you don't normally see films that aren't in English. I was not the only one floored by this film: Lemming and my opera singer friend (Maria) both enjoyed the film immensely and Maria mentioned that she's been telling everybody to see this as well. (She doesn't understand how a certain rescue occurred either. I should check the wikipedia entry to see if somebody has come up with a plausible explanation.) The IMDB rating is very high as well, in case that provides further impetus.

The next paragraph has a bit of a spoiler.

In this film, everybody knew who the evil bastard was and the audience absolutely couldn't stand the guy, which provides obvious signs of the quality of the film and the acting. When Lemming and I saw this movie, a lot of audience members erupted into cheers when this guy got what was coming to him. (We hated this character by this point.) I have never seen that before. Just about everybody was into the film and we had definitely opinions about the important characters and we wanted him to get nailed. Anyway, this is to give you an idea of how everybody got into the story.

By the way, this story was written and directed by Guillermo del Toro, who also brought us Hellboy.

I could write a lot more, but if you can handle heavy films, you need to see this film NOW! So this means people like Gazebo and Josh better go buy their tickets. (I think that a couple of the rest of you reading this may find Pan's Labyrinth to be beyond your threshold, though unfortunately this means you'll be missing out on a really great film.)

2007 Inductees in Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

The 2007 inductees into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame are REM, Patti Smith, Van Halen, The Ronettes, and Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five.

The ones who are part of my paradigm are REM and (to a lesser extent) Patti Smith, and they are both certainly deserving inductees (whose inductions have been considered a given for over a decade, and in the case of Smith, over two decades). Van Halen isn't my cup of tea, but I know they're extremely influential (not to mention extremely popular), and their induction was also a foregone conclusion a long time ago.

This blog speculates on the possible dirt-flinging that may arise regarding which subsets of which configurations of Van Halen show up to the award ceremony. (That could be pretty entertaining...)

A couple of the songs I would expect to see performed are "White Lines". This is the only Grandmaster Flash song I can name without looking things up... this song isn't my thing, but it's been exceptionally influential; I assume their other stuff has been as well or they wouldn't have been inducted.

I'm guessing Patti Smith will perform "Because the Night" as one of her two songs. (By the way, an interesting exercise is to compare the versions of that song by Patti Smith, Bruce Springstein, and 10000 Maniacs. I believe that Smith and Springstein both have writing credits, or maybe it's just Smith.)

I'm sure I've heard of the Ronettes before, but I can't think of any of their songs and I can't currently remember having heard of them.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Return of Interhouse

Interhouse was already gone by the time I entered Caltech as a frosh in 1994. However, the memory of it (I think the last one was in 1989) was still quite strong, as some people on the N >4 year plan were there for it (as were then-recent alums). I had heard things about it, especially during frosh year and at the various times I've talked to old alums. For the current students, that's a distant memory. I was having lunch with an undergrad I know during the bbq (the food was pretty decent), and she never heard of it before. (She had also never heard the term 'slAvery House' before, and I was really surprised that hadn't stuck.)

I think Tom Mannion's spearheading to bring it back in some form is a very good idea, so it will be interesting to see how this plays out over the next couple years. I was certainly curious to see the construction, which (in true Techer tradition) wasn't finished until the 13th hour (i.e., after the parties had already started). I went on the tour of the last-minute construction and then I went back at the beginning of the party. (Though it involved the least construction, the Dabney-Page party, which had a jazz band including some Caltech students, was the one that was the most to my tastes.)

I saw a couple undergrads I know and also a couple alums from my era that I know (and some Alumni Association people I know---I know some of the older alums these days because of the book, etc), though most of the alums in attendance were people from the 80s and earlier. There were rumors that a couple other mid-late 90s Lloydies would show up (at lunch, I saw Anatole Faykin '96 for the first time since something like 1998; I also saw Ben Miller '98 at the party per se), but I didn't feel like sticking around without many people to talk to until that may or may not have happened. There weren't many places to sit, so if my foot weren't gimpy, I would have walked around more to try to find people I know. However, walking and--to a lesser extent--even standing are major problems at the moment, so I started limping home at about 9:35.

I was never much of a partyer, but it was cool to see a big project, and I think the potential of having current students and alums interact more through this is a great idea. (I was told that something like 500 alums [including their families] registered for the event, which is pretty impressive.) Not that I saw too many alums talking to students, though I talked a bit to ones I know and a couple of my SURF students for this summer encouraged me to go. I am not qualified to compare this to the older iteration of Interhouse, and it will be interesting to ask some of the 80s people about this. Oh, and I also like the idea of increased interaction between the North and South Houses. There always seemed to be a bit of a divide there, and there are definitely cool people on both sides of the walk.

The light show was cool, but the band Caltech hired was memorably awful. (The Alumni Association people are already aware of this and seem to share this opinion quite strongly.) It's a good idea to have events other than Interhouse per se, but there are some kinks to work out. For example, there are some local Caltech bands, and if one could get them to volunteer, that would be greatfully preferably to a crappy band like the one they had. At least a crappy band of Techers would be our crappy band, and some of them have actually been pretty decent. Hell, Dave Antonio '01 is in a jazz band, and I was digging their music at Casino Night.

Anyway, I'm glad I showed up, though staying up late for the full festivities is not something I was about to do without compatriots with whom to hang out.

I need to do something about my gimpy foot. The long limp home was not fun.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Friday BayouBlogging

Well, I'll technically be commenting both on New Orleans and a more rural area of Lousiana (which isn't part of the Bayou).

Let's start with what else I saw while at the Joint Math Meetings in New Orleans:

Wow, my memory of the meeting is already fading quite a bit. Maybe if I weren't so tired...

On Friday, I didn't bother with dinner but was able to get some nice appetizers (almond-crusted chicken fingers!) in one of the receptions to which people with Project NExT affiliations are invited. I saw a couple people I knew there, but I was an hour late and managed to miss almost all of the speeches. I didn't try to do that, but my confusion about what constituted the "Balcony" helped out here. Another contributor to this was the fact that I ran into Steve Strogatz (a member of my thesis committee) at the meeting, so I talked to him for a while as a pause from rushing to where I intended to go. I asked him about a certain paper of his one of my students will be generalizing this summer. Oh, and he did one of the major awards, but not one of the ones I mentioned in the blog. He one the Joint Math Policy Board communications award, which is essentially a sort of lifetime achievement award for communicating mathematics to the general public. I hope I one day will have done enough to deserve that (whether or not I win it, though I suppose the only "official" recognition of having merited it is to actually win it --- anyway, the goal is to actually make a sufficient contribution in this area to deserve that kind of recognition).

On Friday night, I went to the Gibbs lecture, which was given by Peter Lax this year. (It alternates between a mathematician who has contributed significantly to the sciences and a scientist who uses lots of math in their research. Formally, Lax was recognized in the former category, but he really could be recognized in both.) After that was the AWM reception, and the area outside the lecture hall was way too small for the number of people there. I thus grabbed some food --- because of the two receptions, I skipped dinner Friday night --- and escaped closer to escalators which was away from the throng... when I was suddenly accosted by a women with green hair (well, green streaks in her hair) who was telling me about how I was being really antisocial and that I had also done that last year at the Project NExT reception. She said she felt comfortable doing that because I was a fellow Project NExTer (at which point I realized that I was correct that I hadn't technically met her before) and that something on my blog last year had irritated her. (I neither asked what nor did she volunteer the information, but I can only think of one thing last January --- which I suppose is when she looked at my page because she did so after seeing my talk on Congress --- that could have done that, and I'm not sure whether I only thought of writing that particular thing or actually did write it. Of course, I could have completely forgotten plenty of other things.) I was then told I'd be forgiven this time for both that comment and my present antisocial behavior because it really was ridiculously crowded where the food was. (I also was asked if my Congress talk this year would be the same as last year.) Anyway, I tend to get kind of confused when somebody I don't know comes up to me and starts giving me hell for my antisocial behavior. Apparently, "Dots" (aka, Project NExTers) are supposed to be social. But we got along fine after my confusion was dispelled and I was forgiven.

On Saturday, I went to the Prize ceremony and reception. In addition to Strogatz, one of the major prizes was awarded (well, co-awarded) to Tom Mrowka, who was my first ever math prof at Caltech. (I still remember his comment during a demo about how Tommy II was "bound and gagged." He was demonstrating the stable versus unstable eigenvectors in rigid body rotation of a non-symmetric body.) He won a research prize in geometry. I was going to leave the ceremony after Strogatz got his prize to attend a Project NExT session on advising graduate students, but Strogatz got his award close to the end and I didn't feel like walking into the session 20 minutes late.

I went to dinner with a couple friends from grad school (and their students) who run an REU. The speciality where we went was alligator (which supposedly tastes like chicken, but has the consistency of fish), though I chose to have a nice steak. There was a live band where we went and while some of the music was catchy, their selection was limited and the service was very slow, so we heard some of the songs more than 7 times (or if they were different, they were similar enough to seem the same to me). One of the oldsters in the band recruited women from the tables to dance with him and another recruited people to play a couple instruments (I forget their names), and the participants were given beads. Some of our table went, but then things got really crazy when a table of young future cheerleaders and a (separate!) group of cheerleaders from the University of Michigan (I think it was the University of Michigan) came into the restaurant to eat. The ones from Michigan saw the young ones demonstrating some of their moves on the dance floor and decided they should demonstrate a bit, and two of them went on instrument volunteer duty and played the instruments especially gregariously --- it was actually quite impressive how much fun they were having --- that they ended up getting their beads awarded to them in the middle of their performance instead of casually after the fact. All of this passed the time while we waited a loooooooong time for our food to arrive. After dinner, I went to my hotel room to finish my pass through a draft of a manuscript to give back to my student for him to revise further.

The next day, I had lunch with a friend of mine and got a chance to explore Bourbon Street both during the day and at night (with a collaborator when I went back there at night). There was a moon over Bourbon Street when I went there at night. There were lots and lots of bars (and strip clubs and the like), and my friend and I had some trouble finding the restaurant that had been recommended to him. It wasn't raining at all until suddently it became a huge downpour and we had to retreat under an awning of a nearby store because neither of us had umbrella with us. After a couple minutes wondering when things would let up sufficiently for us to escape, I noticed that we had sheltered ourselves right next to a general store ("Hey, they probably sell umbrellas!"), so we walked in, bought cheap umbrellas, and went on our way. We were going to play chess later in the evening, but it didn't work out this year.

At night, I had to miss a dinner for CAMsters (members of CAM at Cornell) from my era that had been organized at the last minute because I had already agreed to go with a collaborator to dinner. We went back to Bourbon Street and passed by a live Jazz band while we were walking off the dinner. I would have stayed there longer because it sounded good. The sounds in most of the parts of the streets were just really loud music being played over a stereo. One thing that was funny was a bar advertising themselves as the home of a certain specialty drink --- a "Hand Grenade" or something --- which had a person dressed as a life-sized hand grenade just outside the place. That's the straight part of the joke. The really funny part was the very next bar, which had a large sign proclaiming "We sell hand grenades too."

I then went to the main Project NExT reception and talked to a bunch of friends there, although I unfortunately didn't get a chance to talk to all of them. (At this reception, the partially green haired person mentioned that she caught me being social at the undergrad poster session earlier in the day.) I hung out with a couple friends for a couple hours after the session and then crashed at 12:40 even though I was giving my Congress talk at 8 am the next day. (Pain!)

I got a 7 am wake-up call and made it to my room in plenty of time. (The last day was the only day I bothered with a wake-up call, so I missed some morning talks the prior two days that I would have attended if I were awake. I couldn't sleep the first night, so I was up bright and early on the first day of the conference.) My talk went well. The attendees included one of my friend's students (the other had already flown off), a person at the meeting who I wanted to track down and meet about some quantum chaos stuff (one of his collaborators had told him I would be at the meeting and that he should track me down because I was a person worth meeting, so this made my life a lot easier), and a bigshot (who I've met before) who has written a book about mathematics and voting. The talk went well, and then I went outside, autographed the Mathematical Moments based on my Congress work for the undergrad (she had said when we discussed things on Saturday that she wanted me to do that in case I became famous some day and that now I was obligated to become famous some day... that's quite a bit of pressure), and then discussed quantum chaos stuff and possible collaborations. So I definitely got some work stuff done that was on my agenda, despite my own antisocial tendencies (which I admitted openly in my conversation Friday night). Starting to get a scientific reputation is really useful for somebody who is antisocial because then sometimes people will come to me and I don't have to seek them out. My discussion with my friend's students was on Sunday, and I talked to them both about their projects and grad school stuff. Also, a couple of my friends at the meeting mentioned how when I'm famous, she's going to tell everybody she knows me. (Man, people are putting so much pressure on me. I can't say it wouldn't be cool, and I'd rather the expectations be this high than the reverse. Still, I don't particularly see my achieving that level of recognition.)

Just after lunch, I hitched a ride with the Louisiana Tech prof by prior arrangement and we drove up to Ruston, which is in Northern Louisiana (which is quite different culturally from southern Louisiana!). We passed over the Mississippi River, so I did get to see it for the first time even though I didn't get a chance to walk by it in New Orleans. (I had been too busy during the day and it was too sketchy for me to want to go alone at night --- and I couldn't convince anyone else to go with me.) We also drove into and out of Mississippi, so I got to add a second state (though in a much weaker sense) to my list rather than the one I was thinking would happen. I did use the bathroom in Mississippi, so I suppose that's something. (I like to make all the states I visit just a bit dirtier.) In April, I may be visiting University of Louisville, so I should be able to add Kentucky to my list soon enough.

Social life in the town of Ruston revolves around churches. Alcohol couldn't be sold in the city until recently, though there are several places that do this epsilon distance outside the city limits. One place was a drive-through daquiri place, which is apparently legal as long as they don't put the straw in your drink. (My mind immediately went to parallels with the selling of mp3 players and the companies denying any connection with downloading songs for them illegally --- in particular, before the legal downloading servicex existed.) On the first night, we ate at an Outback Steakhouse (a familiar franchise...) in Monroe, which was on the way to Ruston. A couple faculty members took me to a Mexican restaurant the next night, and their colleagues remarked that it was curious that they would do that with a Los Angeles native. (Our waiter was completely dumbstruck when I asked for iced coffee to drink. He was just completely confused.) For the first lunch, they took me to a nearby Chinese restaurant. The only Asian I saw at the place was a faculty member from Korea. They gave us forks at this place (so you can guess how authentic I think it is), and I asked for chopsticks and was the only person I saw using them. (It wouldn't have felt right to use a fork.) One of the people at the table was referring to an accident but it sound like "accent" to me because of her, well..., accent. At the Mexican resturant, one of my hosts brought up the local culture and how the town was a typical southern town though (naturally) the LA Tech faculty were a much more diverse bunch. He mentioned one time when he went to a doctor's appointment, somebody there found out he worked at LA Tech and mentioned to him conspiratorially that "I hear there are atheists there." His response was that he was Buddhist and she said that that was ok. (I was extremely amused by this story.) I love snarky people.

I spoke about complex networks for my talk and used college football and Congress as my extended examples. I started the talk by mentioning that in Louisiana, I wasn't sure which one was more controversial.

On Thursday, my host drove me to Shreveport for my flight back. We passed by their minor league baseball stadium on the way to the airport. (That was why I had originally heard of the city.) I listened to some music from my laptop while waiting for my flight. I had my earphones on, but unfortunately I had them plugged into the wrong jack. (Oops!) I did the same thing on the plane from Dallas to the other LA when trying to watch Much Ado About Nothing (Oops!), though I had to quickly give up on the movie because watching it was making me far sicker than watching a moving a screen on a plane normally would. (I listened to the airplane's music a bit and used my computer for that a bit. This is where having a working iPod with me would have been reallty nice.) Once I am finished with this entry, I am going to finish off the movie.

In the Dallas airport, I finally played the single player version of New Super Mario Brothers for the first time in a few months. I passed one level with which I had been having trouble before I stopped for a while, and now I hope to get past some of the other ones I hadn't solved before my hiatus. More important, I ran into a friend from grad school (now a postdoc at Colorado State) who I hadn't seen since I left Cornell. He was on his way to a conference in Vicksburg. Anyway, that was a really nice surprised.

So, now I am no longer in LA but am instead in LA and it's time to finish watching a movie.

Also, I will hopefully be able to walk normally tomorrow. While at Peet's tonight, my right foot decided it no longer wanted me putting any pressure on it, so I had to limp back home and walking is seriously problematic at the moment. First my iPod and now this.

My iPod ("Chotchke") is terminal

I visited the Apple Store's "Genius Bar" (that name is annoying) about my current iPod ("Chotchke"), which had a sudden conniption on Wednesday. (This was rather unfortunate because it severely hurt my musical selection for my flights on Thursday.) It was given me the sad iPod icon, which is a strong indication of hardware problems. (My attempts at restoration, etc. failed.)

On Tuesday and last week, I had to restore it from crashes. (The initial crash on Wednesday was weird because when I pressed play, it went through a couple seconds of each song and wouldn't let me do anything else. Then the iPod wouldn't mount when I connected it to my Mac and instead gave me the dreaded sad icon. The crash on Tuesday was slightly weird in that the iPod pretended that there were no songs even though they were there. The crash last week --- my iPod's first in several months --- was the canonical freezing that one sees on occasions even in healthy iPods.)

I set up an appointment with the Genius Bar today and brough my backup iPod to work. My backup iPod, called "Hoopak" and one of the original bulky 20 gig pieces that is one of the old models that people apparently collect a bit because it completely defies the now-prevalent sleek theme, works perfectly except for the fact that the battery has experienced the usual extreme decay of that generation's iPods. I hadn't even checked Chotchke since last night, but it loaded just fine by the time I was at the Apple Store. (This always happens.)

I was helped immediately even though I was 30 minutes early because the people ahead of me weren't there. (I like it when that happens.) When I said that the sad iPod icon had appeared, the person behind the counter got a sour look on his face --- essentially signifying that this was a bad sign. He heard lots of clicking from the hard drive and basically deduced that the hard drive is on its last legs and could completely die at any time, so it looks like Hoopak is going to outlast Chotchke by a factor of at least 3. Replacing the hard drive costs $250, which essentially means that one buys a new iPod.

I wasn't sure whether I had bought Applecare for Chotchke, but it turns out that I did. I bought it in March 2005, so it doesn't expire until March 17, 2007. The guy at the Apple Store indicated that if I can bring it in and one of the store workers actually sees the sad icon on the iPod, then I can exchange it for free as long as this happens before Applecare expires. Basically, I feel like there is a life insurance policy on my iPod but that I need to use it within the next two months or else it isn't any good. (I feel like I'm in a murder mystery.) Even if the next sad face icon isn't the permanent death of Chotchke, I will definitely be heading immediately to the Apple Store if that happens while I still have Applecare, because the free exchange is far better than coughing up a few hundred dollars.

So, the motive has been established...

Chotchke already did a normal freezing type of crash tonight after my visit to the Apple Store. I won't be murdering it or anything, but I'm going to be really annoyed if I end up seeing a March 18th sad iPod icon.