I have been embittered by many things over the years and I learned early on to be cynical. There is written evidence dating back to when I was 8 years old, and things really go back to a series of events from 1981 to 1982 that poisoned me forever. (Yes, there are reasons behind some of my behavior beyond being dropped, and you know you can't come out like me without having had a fucked-up childhood.)
One effect of all this general shittiness, however, is to give me a more acute appreciation of the finer things in life---like good friends, good music, the game of baseball, and Fruit-Roll Ups. Yes, that's right---Fruit Roll-Ups! There is just something about the combination of edible plastic and red dye #3 that I can't resist. It's wonderful stuff! It really is. (It's not as good as 140 proof chocolate or big slabs of scrumptious meat, but the right flavors of it are awesome nonethless.)
Anyway, I was at Safeway today and I accidently noticed that they have Fruit Roll-Ups. I hadn't encountered them in 4 years, and before one specific time in 2002, I hadn't seen them in around 8 or so years at that time.
I can be easily pleased sometimes. Mmmm... plastic. (By the way, I'm pretty sure there really was red dye #3 in the vintage variety.)
4 days ago
6 comments:
Chew out some eye holes, then wear it as a mask. Scare your neighboors!
Helps if you were planning on taking a shower soon.
Like I need a mask to scare my neighbors! Hmph!
They did come with temporary "tongue tatoos". If one holds the right part to one's tongue for something like 5 seconds, one can apply it. (I imagine some people have actually attempted putting tattoos on their tongues, although I assume it's less common than forking them---which is really nasty, by the way.)
Costco offers a fake "fruit roll-up", but it's not the same as the real thing! - j.
You need a mask to just scare them, and not be the trigger of SFRS (Sudden Fecal Release Syndrome).
Acronyms like SFRS and SIDS really just mean the cause is unknown.
That notwithstanding, I think our president is suffering from (the?) sudden heuristic indecisive tactlessness syndrome.
I remember that only the "cool kids" had Fruit Rollups in elementary school. Ah,the power of targeted advertising.
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